The Deception of Relationships - When Looks Deceive

I am no Enrique Iglesias, but in a dimly-lit room with sunglasses on, you may do a double-take. I don't want to sound brash, but let's face it, sometimes when I've got my swerve on - I'm the f*ckin king of the world. There's been times in my life when I've seen girls check me out, even though I know they're with a guy. I have a sixth sense when drunk (well, seven, if you count being able to smell Carne Asada Fries within a mile of my location), and I can tell when I am getting the eyeball... sometimes even the "eye-f*cked the sh*t out of me" eyeball. Granted, many of these looks come from 4s, but I'll take it! Like, Vince Vaughn cursing himself to Owen Wilson, "you and I know I'm a phenomenal dancer. Damnit! Why'd I'd have to go showing off like that?!?! Now I'm all over his (her) radar." That's how I feel most nights.

Brad Pitt knows how I feel.

What I'm getting at here is that some of those 50% of marriages that don't work out, is not because of incompatibility, but because a time came in one of the partner's lives when they found out they could (or did through infidelity) do better than their current spouse (looks-wise). A lot of people marry up to what they think they can get. You don't think everyone started out wanting a Ryan Gosling, a Brad Pitt, a Denzel Washington, or an Angelina Jolie, a Megan Fox, or a Beyonce? (What?!?! I'm politically correct. When I become the NY Times, I'll put four each and cover the four major ethnic groups. Now shut up.) Yes, everyone aspired to want these hot celebrities and/or the hottest guys/girls in their school, but soon realized that this top tier didn't want them. So they moved onto the next looks level and started anew there. Some succeeded, but the ones that didn't, continued to move down level by level until, eventually, someone allowed them to play "just the tip."

(I prefer to play a game called, "just the entire penis," but I usually get to play a game called, "Yeah, babyyyy... Wait. WHAT IS THIS!?!? You have a penis too?!?! Oh no, NOT AGAIN. I knew this was too good to be true." Or, my other frequently played game, "WHAT?!?! I thought 'no' meant 'yes'!.... No, no, no. Put the knife away. What are you doing with that broom handle?!?! Oh no!!! Not again!!!")

Sigh. These are the days of my life.

Where was I? Yes, people end up with a member of the opposite sex in the same looks category. They figure out where they belong in high school and college. Sure, some people end up with people way hotter. That's when you'll see the notter worshipping the other. I've written about this before - how hot girls sometimes get tired of going out with hot guys who treat them like dirt and cheat on them, eventually settling for a nice, bland dweeb who treats them like a princess. BUT. For all those going out or married to someone within their equal looks range in the middle-to-lower-tiers, there may be someone looking over their shoulder for a notch hotter. They're not always so virtuous. I've seen it with my own eyes.

I will tell you one specific incident that happened to me in college. It was shameful, to say the least. Some of you may know that I was a ballroom dancer in college - think Dancing with the Stars, but much sexier and better - and I had a partner, who had a boyfriend. For like 3 years. One night, at a house party, she tells me she likes me and is thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend! I can't respect that. I HATE girls who can only move on from relationships if they have another guy in the wings because they're afraid to be alone. I also hate girls who have been in numerous multi-year relationships. Learn some discrimination in your dating, it's gross that you can date numerous people that long. Anyhow, I tell her that if she has an issue with her boyfriend or he's not satisfying her, then she should dump him first and we'll see if anything happens between us. But her breaking up with him would NOT be on me. That non-committal answer wasn't enough for her. She stayed with him and eventually MARRIED the guy several years down the line. Poor sap. She was looking out for better the whole time. (Little did she know she would've been disappointed with me anyway, but SHE DIDN'T KNOW THAT!)

The point is this, people get married to whom they think they can and did get. Their standards didn't magically fall from Brad Pitt/Megan Fox to you - it's how they settled into what life experiences taught them they could get. Unfortunately, for some, that doesn't mean they stop looking. I've had married women give me the "vibe". Sure, they were in their 50s, but that's neither here nor there.

Don't be with someone if you're going to spend your time with them looking around for the next hottest piece of arse. I'm tired of being your philandering eye-candy! I'm not just some handsome slab of chiseled meat! If you're "settling" with someone, but still entertaining the notion someone cuter may come along? Have the courage to break up, before you become one of the 50% down the line.

Also, I'm not just picking on relationships, because I don't think friendship exists either...

Kevin L.

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  1. you dont think friendship really exist? explain this one.

  2. All I know is that I'm reading a book titled, "Don't Jump!" It's not mine.


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