Writing Your Own Letter of Recommendation

I recently asked my friend to write me a letter of recommendation, after all my business colleagues, close friends, and family members all declined - stating a lack of good things to say. My friend promptly asked that I write my own letter of recommendation, send it over to him, and then he would sign off on it. At first, I felt this to be rather awkward, writing such flattering comments about oneself, but then I remembered how much I enjoy looking in the mirror each morning. And about how I relive the highlights of my day, in my mind, each night as I go to bed. Finally, I need not look any further than my own blog to find massive amounts of cleverness and inspiration to write a truly glowing account of myself.

Here goes:

"To Whom It May Concern,

I'll never forget the day I met the SVB. I remember it like it was yesterday - time stood still as the SVB first walked in the door. The Beatles were playing on my iTunes. The birds were chirping outside of the office window, but for one fleeting moment, my world gained clarity and purpose.

It's difficult to state the impact Kevin has had on myself and the company. How does one state the importance their mother or father had on their life? How does one put into words the impact Ghandi or Mother Teresa made in this world? You can't. I will say that Kevin is nothing short of a genius. Have you heard of Socrates? Plato? Aristotle? Einstein? Hawking? Morons next to the SVB.

Without coming off weird, I would love to be him, just for one day. Find out what's going on inside that beautiful little head of his. Right underneath that finely manicured hair. Oh! That hair. How does it stay in one place so discreetly, yet confidently!??! The world may never know. Do you remember that scene in the Silence of the Lambs, when Buffalo Bill wears that outfit made of human skin? I now understand why he did that and sympathize. I want to wear Kevin's skin.

I highly recommend Kevin for your program. While this will take him further away from my leering eyes at work, he will never be far away as there is a tree branch outside his bedroom window and a pair of binoculars that I own. Please do not hesitate to contact me, for I have a diary full of other commendations.

William Cody
Director of Marketing"

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