Silicon Valley Dating Advice - 8 Tips to Success

#1 through #8 - Leave Silicon Valley.

The end.

Kevin L.

Just kidding. Kind of... Chances are, you're constantly cursing the prospects presented to you by Silicon Valley, which includes Man Jose, Manta Clara, Manpbell, Mantain View, Palo Manto, and even, Man Francisco. Recently, I had a friend who sought advice from me on finding a woman. I wanted to help him out, not because I am a good person, but because I like the sound of my own voice and the genius that spontaneously comes out my mouth. I could care less about his feelings.

My friend gave me free reign to loosely reference him and I pretty much picked him apart. Everything I could see on his Facebook page, including the way he dressed and the way he stood, to the pictures he posted and why he needed to delete several of them. I also went on to tell him about how awesome I am and how I became so awesome. Several hours later, I got around to how he was going to better his chances with the ladies.

Here is what I told him he could, and should, do to help his prospects for meeting a girl:

1. Confidence - It's key. It's probably the single most important trait you can have. Not cocky, but a humble confidence. You may not feel confident in all parts of your life - unlike me - but there has to be one thing where you are the absolute sh*t. Whether it be at your computer playing World of Warcraft or knowing exactly which free porn site to browse for that foot fetish of yours, you must channel that confidence into your mannerisms - but keep your pants zipped up... for now.

2. Short-Term Memory - You're going to fail. A lot. What's important is how quickly you get back on your wooden horse. Don't let it get you down. One of my favorite quotes is Michael Jordan's "I've missed more that 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." Great quote, isn't it? You can apply this in every aspect of your life. Don't be afraid to fail and WHEN it does happen? Step right back up for another shot.

3. Listen - Ask questions. Listen to what a woman wants. What she says. What makes her happy. Ask her insightful questions on things she says, and OCCASIONALLY interject with some of your own anecdotes, but the focus is her. If you make it far enough, do those things she mentioned. Ultimately, don't you want to make the one you love happy? They're not there to only make you feel better about yourself - like I'm doing with this advice to you - they're there to make both of your lives more rewarding and fulfilling. Don't take them for granted.

4. Posture - Mom was right on this one. It's all about how you carry yourself. You don't have to work out a lot, but there has to be confidence. It has to spell out that you're confident in your own skin. Even if it's just in pictures (which the Facebook world will see) - stand up straighter, with your legs apart, and your shoulder blades back... it makes a huge difference. My college roommate used to always put her hand on her waist, so that her arms didn't look big in pics. If they can do it, so can we.

5. Style - You don't have to dress like Ne-Yo, Justin Timberlake, or even The Situation, but what you do wear, you have to wear it well. I like the saying, "You wear the clothes. Don't let the clothes wear you." You don't have to spend a lot to accomplish this. Get rid of the baggy jeans. Don't wear tennis or basketball shoes outside of their assigned courts. Shoes should match the belt. Take some risks, and be comfortable in it. It comes back to that little word called CONFIDENCE.

6. Creativity - A lot of people who approach me say that they don't want to meet a girl in a bar/club. I encourage you not to. If you're already having trouble meeting girls, this is the last place you're going to find success. Be a little creative in what/where you're going. Take classes, lessons, join groups - book clubs, ballroom dance classes, beginning snow boarding lessons, are all filled with a majority of women. If there's only one you can pick? Go with dance lessons. This is where you'll always find the LEAST amount of guys and the HOTTEST girls. But learn the dances - practice. It's fun. Girls will choose a guy dancing poorly on the dance floor over a douche who stands in the corner all night bobbing his head.

7. Girl Friends - I know that you're probably in that desperate state of mind where you just want someone that doesn't live on your computer screen, but you have to stay strong. Don't look at every girl as a possible hookup. They can be friends too. In fact, they are your BEST friends when it comes to hitting on other girls. They provide you with credibility and, most importantly, the perspective of a female. Listen to her.

8. Have Fun - It's infectious. I always go out with the intention that I am going to have a good time and try and make sure everyone around me is having a good time as well. Don't make your night about ONLY going out to hit on women, because then you'll over-think it and the desperation will show in your pores. Enjoy the company of those you're with and the CONFIDENCE will emanate to when you do spot a girl that you want to approach.

Don't be daunted by the fact that Silicon Valley has one of the highest male to female ratios in the country - just know that almost all of the other tech dweebs are going to be too shy to step up to a girl, which already puts you levels ahead of them. That should give you something we call CONFIDENCE right there....

Take some chances. Step up. Give yourself the OPPORTUNITY to succeed. We all deserve to be in love. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. (This is when Ewan McGregor walks out and sings over me...)

What are you waiting for? Make some conscious changes in yourself today and then go out and make ish happen!

Kevin L.
The Silicon Valley Dating Coach!

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1 comment :

  1. Here's a biggy... take note of your title picture. If your bald, with a mullet and fat... lower your standards.

    Just a thought.


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