How to Create a Website .... and look sexy doing it

I love me a lot. Yesterday, I bought four domain names of myself. Well, technically, MerchantCircle, the company I work for, bought them. They own me - literally. But that's ok, I steal a lot of thumbtacks and paper clips from them. And if they ever had to eat me, that would suck for them. There's no meat on these bones, everyone would feel gipped and disappointed - much like the women in my past.

MerchantCircle just released an awesome new feature, that instantly pulls all the content from your MerchantCircle listing (think Myspace or Facebook for business owners) and instantly creates a website for you under the domain name you just bought. No need for figuring out how to host the domain, html jibberish, DNS-something-or-other, or paying someone to build it for you. It really is freakin' cool. Check it out below:

Don't I look handsome in that picture? I'd give myself a 4, so you know what that means in the Rule of 13! Come hang out with me and find some good looking people! Anyway, anytime you want to change something, you can just change it on your MerchantCircle listing. There's several different web looks you can go for, some of which you can find under my various web domains I bought:

As the great Ron Burgundy said, "Hey everyone, come and see how good I look!"

Kevin L.
The Vain Narcisstic Bachelor

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  1. You have print out coupons for a free estimate lol? that is truly awesome!

  2. Those coupons are good for all kinds of estimates, if you know what I mean... wink wink.

    Just kidding, I think even I threw up in my mouth a little.

  3. Do you honestly think it's a good idea to admit on your blog that you work for a company that spams people with fraudulent telemarketing calls? That's just nuts.

    MerchantCircle has been calling me--for a couple of years now--with the news that customers are leaving comments about my business on their site! Only problem is, I don't own or run a business and I never have. I've had this phone number for about 10 years now, and there is no legitimate reason for MerchantCircle to be calling me--and yet the calls continue. And yes, my phone number is on the Do Not Call list.

    As the Community Relations Manager, you're doing a pretty piss-poor job. These calls serve no purpose other than to waste people's time and piss them off-this is not a good relationship to have with your community. If MerchantCircle want's to try and masquerade as a legitimate business, adopting legitimate business practices would be a great place to start.

  4. Well James, you can have your phone number removed by emailing MerchantCircle at and just give her your phone number and she'll remove it.

    If you think MerchantCircle isn't legitimate, why don't you check out this link at . Those are all real merchant quotes. Anyhow, I wish I could resolve the situation for you, if you had left some contact information.

  5. This is exactly the kind of response that pisses people off. You've already violated my privacy by illegally calling, but now you want me to provide more contact information so you can "resolve the situation" for me? Nope, sorry. Only people & companies I trust get my contact information and how can I trust a company I know for a fact is breaking the law?

    The calls I am receiving are in direct violation of the 1991 Telephone Consumer Protection Act which specifically bans automated calls to wireless phones--if I look my own phone number up on Google the very first result shows it is a wireless number assigned to AT&T. My number is also on the Do Not Call list. That gave you two different ways to figure out these calls would be illegal before you called me. Instead, you try to place the onus on me to stop the calls by providing an email address and assuming I'm willing to do the work of scrubbing your data for you. Sorry, I'm not willing to play that game. Instead, I've filed a complaint with the FCC--I'm placing the onus on them to fine MerchantCircle until you either run out of money or decide to adopt legitimate business practices.

    And about your data--don't even try and tell me it is legitimate. I live in an apartment building and on a whim I decided to look up the number for the phone line dedicated to the guest access panel in our entryway. It came back as belonging to some business that doesn't exist, but supposedly makes pies. Give me a break--your data is crap!

    As for the website you pointed me to, I'm not going to waste my time reading it. I'm guessing it has favorable customer testimonials about MerchantCircle and--by reading it--I would see that your business must be legitimate. You do realize, don't you, that even illegal pyramid schemes get favorable customer testimonials from some of the people involved? Instead of customer testimonials, how about your victim's testimonials? Have a look at - John Battelle did a short piece about MerchantCircle two years ago and people have been leaving comments complaining about your phone calls and business practices ever since.

    Finally, what about the fact that you're trying to hide from people? The legitimate companies I do business with all have one thing in common--they all publish real phone numbers that are staffed with real people. They don't try and hide from the public eye. If your business is generating so many complaints that you don't want to deal with all those calls, don't you think that's a clue you're doing something wrong?

    As the Community Relations Manager for a web company that just landed a big deal with Yahoo, you really need to realize that the business landscape is changing and people aren't sitting idly by anymore. I doubt my lone voice here is going to make you adopt legitimate business practices, but when I join my voice with the hundreds of people complaining at John Battelle's blog and the hundreds of people who have filed complaints with the BBB and the FCC, that's when companies are forced to sit up and take notice. I urge you to sit down with Ben & Wayne and have them explain exactly how harassing people and pissing off potential customers is good for the company in the long term. If they can't give you a good answer--and I'm sure they can't--maybe it's time to reconsider your own involvement with the company.


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