As every girl I know is gearing up to gather with their girlfriends to watch the premiere of Sex and the City this weekend, there will be some inadvertent effects rippling through our social economy. First of all, supermarket shelves will be light in the departments of Cranberry Juice, Lime Juice, Triple Sec, and Vodka - all the ingredients to a Cosmopolitan. Us guys could care less, as long as the there is still Pabst Blue Ribbon and Natural Ice left.What WILL effect us, is that at first, you may think 'hey, guys night out!' Then you'll realize that every girl will be at the movie theatre with her 15 girlfriends, so you'll hit the bar and see ALL these guys, with THEIR guy's night out. It'll be a disaster and nightmare for men, as we don't normally like to talk to each other much. Fights will break out because of all the testoserone and it'll be ANARCHY!
What will matter the most following the movie, is whether Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker.... shoot, don't act all shocked. This kind of knowledge helps us guys!), ends up with the Mr. Big and gets all gushy and sweet, or if she cruises off, enjoying the single life! If it's the latter, no guy gets any lovin from their girlfriends that night. She will be out ALL night hanging with her girls. If she ends up with Mr. Big, expect some phone calls from your girl because she misses you.
If you do happen to be a bachelor, the best place to be is the movie theatre for every showing of Sex and the City. Listen in on what girls talk about so that you can tell them exactly what they want to hear. Kind of like when Matt Dillon tells Cameron Diaz in There's Something About Mary, that Harold and Maude is the 'greatest love story of our time.' Be sure you creepily follow the hottest group of girls to the bar they are going to afterwards and give me a call. You can be my wingman anyday! Sike.Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Silicon Valley Bachelor
P.S. 'Sike' was the best word ever. Let's bring it back. Sike.
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