Carne Asada Fries in the Bay Area

As many of you may know - I graduated from UCSD (without honors): home of the Padres, Pacific Beach, beautiful women, but more importantly Carne Asada Fries. Don't laugh - I'm serious. I often say I'm going to San Diego to visit my college friends, but really 55% of the reason lies within that succulent mix of french fries, cheese, carne asada, sour cream and guacamole. To top it all off, the red indistinguishable salsa is out of this world!

Every night .... err, I mean... some of the nights when I wasn't successful with the women, I really didn't care, because the thought of Carne Asada Fries would put a grin on my face from ear to ear.

"What?!?! You don't want to engage in a naked pillow fight with me tonight? Whatever."

And off I'd go skipping to the nearest Roberto's, Ramone's, El Cotixan's, you name it. They were my best friends. I'd call them Bertos, Coti and I'd order and eat and know that no other women could truly satisfy me in the same way. I'd poke it, play with it, talk to it before each bite, 'you're naughty, yes you are', before shoveling it into my mouth.

Ladies and Gentleman of the Bay Area of Northern California, I have great news: My friend, the Reverend, has convinced a San Jose burrito shop by the name of Mondo Burrito to start making Carne Asada Fries and California Burritos (carne asada, french fries). I have already tested it and have given my approval. Aesthetically, they haven't mastered the art yet as you can tell by comparing the pic below with the one from above, but the taste will fulfill your needs.

The one drawback? Mondo's is going to charge somewhere in the $8 range for the fries, which is absolutely unheard of in San Diego. Most San Diegans would never pay more than $6, but, BUT, Mondo's is using fresh Guac - so I guess there's your $2 worth. Plus, everyone in the Bay Area who created this thread on Yelp, I'm sure, would happily pay the extra $2 and save the $200 on a plane ticket to San Diego. That is, until another Mexican restaurant starts offering it.

Thank you Mondo! Because of you, I will now lose touch with all my friends in San Diego. Goodbye guys and gals, I already don't remember your names. I've posted some of your pictures below in remembrance. I'll probably miss that one girl on the left. And that guy on the right with the blonde hair.....

Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Silicon Valley Bachelor

P.S. Goodbye Whale's Vagina - I'll miss you too.

My Love for a Whale's Vagina

I recently returned to the town where I became a man. (Pause for Emphasis)

(I left some blank space for dramatic effect too). It's such a memorable time when you move away from home for the first time, learn to ignore bills that come in the mail, use your tuition money for food and booze, read textbooks over your classmates shoulders, wake up whenever you feel like it..... wait a second, ok, apparently my growth to manhood is not yet complete. Where was I? Ahh yes, returning to San Diego, greatest city in the history of mankind. Discovered by the Germans in 1904 - they named it San Diego - which of course, in German means, a Whale's Vagina. But don't take my word for it, who better to trust than Ron Burgundy?


Well, I hadn't been to a Whale's Vagina in a couple of years, and turns out - I REALLY missed it. I was there for my good friends, Ross and Channel's wedding, and met up with about 30 of my old college buddies. It was a freakin' blast. I ate Carne Asada Fries three times in 48 hours and if any of you know me, you'll know that I frequently ask friends to bring me Carne Asada Fries if they're coming from San Diego. (Note: No one has yet to take me up on the offer, probably because they think I'm joking, but I would never joke about something as serious as Carne Asada Fries. I love them.) Smothered in succulent, tender morsels of Carne Asada, topped with guacamole, sour cream, and gobs of heart-stopping cheese, I live to pour red salsa like only my three favorite Mexicans know how to make - Sr. Cotixan, Sr. Roberto, y Sr. Ramon. (Impressed with my 'y'? Don't forget, I took Spanish 1, three times in high school.)

Besides my Carne Asada Fries comas, a side note was the wedding that got in the way of eating my fries. I love those guys and gals I went to college with, it was like a reunion. And everytime I'd come out of my alochol-induced blackouts, it'd be like a reunion all over again. I avoided a near disaster when I almost dropped the groom's mom on her head while dancing. Luckily the table was there to cushion our fall. We had an awkward laugh about it during Sunday brunch - ahhh, good times.

After brunch, we headed over to Pacific Beach and hung out all day and hit balls back and forth using a paddle. I'm not sure what the game is called, but me and my friend Bryce really sucked. Of course we were drinking some weird concoction of booze in a thermos all day. I swear, we hit the same girl like 8 times with that red ball. Of course, it's always a great first line when you can go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry I keep hitting you with my balls."

Man, I really, REALLY didn't grow up.

Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Silicon Valley Bachelor