Do I Choose Bachelor Life Over A Relationship?!?!


I am not a bachelor for life. I repeat. I am not a bachelor for life.

One of the most common misconceptions about me – other than people thinking I just roll out of bed ridiculously good-looking – is that I choose to be a bachelor over being in a committed relationship.

I do not CHOOSE to be a bachelor.

I choose NOT to be in a mediocre relationship.

The problem is that I haven’t found a woman (no offense to those I’ve dated) that has met my combined expectations on physical traits, intellect, personality, and love. Maybe I shouldn't be so demanding, since I'm barely clinging to the bottom rung of life's societal norms, but when you've had tastes of aspects you're looking for, it's hard to go back to anything less.

I do not WANT to be a bachelor.

Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m going to spend all my time alone desperately trying to find a match, all while miserable in the process. I may be less conspicuous searching for relationships more meaningful, but it's most-definitely going on (as is the sadness I often feel). If bachelorhood is my given outlook, I’m going to live it to the fullest. I'm not waiting for anyone to travel with. I'm not waiting for anyone to go dancing with. I'm going. I have no apologies. I think this is where the disconnect happens.


I’ll be frank – and for once, blatantly arrogant (as opposed to well-phrased humblebrags) – I am fairly good at courtship, or being a lothario. It’s not because of any kind of manipulation having to do with peacocking, negging, mind games, or cheesy opening lines. I come at women with an open, honest approach. I listen, and above all, I have a good time, and hope those around me jump on board with my singing, dancing, drinking, and joking shenanigans. It’s as simple as that.

But, let me tell you. I AM getting tired.

What I write here on this site is an extension of who I am. I do this to entertain you and myself. Every single thing that I write is an article, or an essay, if you will. It’s not a journal. It’s not a diary.

I enjoy making you laugh.

Ever since Miss Michaels in 5th grade would openly laugh out loud at my short stories and told me that I had “the gift of laughter,” I knew I never wanted to stop making people laugh. It felt good. And I wanted others to feel good too. I love letting myself fall into a world where the variables can be challenged and defined.

This site, blog, whatever you want to call it, has always been about (hopefully) imparting some wisdom through my life experiences. No matter what I write, I always try to give tips to those who may be in need of it, or at the very least, end things on a positive, optimistic note. This site is an extension of my personality. It’s an enhanced version of some aspects of my life that I, myself, find humorous. To those women, my family, my friends, who think that my relationship status is a choice, I adamantly refute your assumption.

Sure, I may perpetuate and embellish the stereotypes I've created for myself around being "The Silicon Valley Bachelor" for comedic gain, but I do not want to be a bachelor forever. I cannot think of anything more tragic than not sharing the joys of life with someone you hold dear. Every time I am truly mesmerized by an experience overseas, I always have a tinge of regret that I'm not experiencing it with someone I love. I see your relationships, your marriages, your births, your beautiful growing families and careers – and while extremely happy for you and proud – I can't help but be sad about my own predicament. I want what those of you in love have.

I've never closed myself off to the possibilities of a monogamous, meaningful relationship. Have I sabotaged some of my own relationships? Yes. But only because I didn't know how to handle things in a more constructive manner. Empathy can be debilitating. But as I get older, I minimize the amount of relationships I begin, in hopes that no one will have to suffer heartache down the line.

I grew up on Hollywood standards, listening to hopeful love songs like MC Hammer's "Have You Seen Her" and more recently, Michael Buble's "Just Haven't Met You Yet", and I never thought I would still be searching for love at this age. Can there be passion in a relationship like those you see in The Notebook? Or Dirty Dancing? Is that only something glamorized on screen, hardly attainable – or sustainable – in real life? Why not? A guy can dream, can't he?

At least in one regard, I'm still that 5th grade schoolboy dreaming and writing stories in Miss Michaels' class. An empty page can be daunting and terrifying, yet wildly optimistic. It's a blank canvas. My love story has yet to be written. In my mind, it has a helluva ending. I'm just waiting to put it all down on paper.

KL

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