Some of you may know that I'm a huge fan of the zombie genre. While The Walking Dead is excellent, I kind of wish they had zombies that sprinted after people, a la Dawn of the Dead – my favorite zombie movie and the one where they live in a mall for a period of time. As a former track & field runner in high school and a bit of college, I just never felt that "walking" zombies could ever catch up to me. Plus, I haven't fallen while walking or running (the number one cause of death in horror flicks) since I was three years old. I'd imagine that Usain Bolt, Adrian Peterson, and I would all be hanging around a campfire together, laughing at how that pregnant lady couldn't run fast enough from those zombies earlier in the day. Then, we would eat the rest of the Cinnabons from the abandoned store before reading magazines at the newstand with Kate Upton's latest photo shoot.
I believe a seemingly fringe horror genre that became the backdrop for the most popular cable television show ever, gains its allegiance of fans because people just want to feel like they're a part of something. A group. A bond. A family. A will to survive. Unlike most other television series, The Walking Dead could be any of us out there. We're not watching lawyers battling it out in the courtroom, police officers on the street, cancer-ridden drug dealers, sociopathic serial killers, mob bosses with families, or any other far-fetched characters, we're watching "seemingly normal" people try and survive, all while examining what they would do in the face of an unparalleled adversity.
While it's been quite some time since I last did a post where I wrote it in screenplay format, here's a throwback envisioning a scenario where a zombie apocalypse is thrust upon us.
Scene 1. Interior of Kevin's Bedroom – 2pm
Kevin is sound asleep. He scratches his butt occasionally. And even though he is deep in stupor, he still unconsciously smells his hand afterwards and giggles.
Scene 2. Exterior of Kevin's House
The sirens of ambulances and police cars are blaring in the distance. Cars are piled on top of each other in a heap of wreckage. People are frantically running everywhere being chased down by blood-thirsty zombies.
Scene 3. Interior of Kevin's Bedroom – 5pm
Sirens blare through the window of his house. The clock shows 5pm. Kevin is sound asleep mumbling something about, "don't put it there, that tickles." He then goes to scratch his butt before smelling his hand.
Scene 4. Exterior of Cupertino – 6pm
The sleepy town of Cupertino is up in smoke. Decay and ruin is everywhere. There are very few cars even operational. A few Asian tiger moms are still shuttling their kids out of SAT prep courses, sprinting between zombies, heading to kumon class.
Scene 5. Interior of Kevin's Bedroom - 7pm
Kevin slowly begins to arise. He checks his phone. There are 796 text messages. Kevin ponders this for a moment.