Thursday, February 6, 2014
The Rise of the Hater
I don't hate on Justin Bieber. I don't hate on Kanye West. I don't hate on Kim Kardashian. I don't hate Michigan. I don't hate the Dodgers. Heck, I don't even hate Richard Sherman. Where I live and who I associate with might tell me otherwise.
If there's anything I appreciate with getting older it's knowing that I don't have to HATE to like. I don't have to hate the Dodgers to like the Giants. I don't have to hate the University of Michigan to like The Ohio State Buckeyes. I don't have to hate on you and what you have to achieve what I want. It's just not who I am. I love people. Why am I going to let hate seep into my heart, my mind, and trickle down into other parts of my life?
Why must people hate to love?
I recently started following Lebron James and Dwayne Wade on Instagram – and I'm not even one of those people who follows celebrities – I just liked their fashion sense and the candid look into their lives. But every time they posted something, every other comment was one that was hating on them. The other day, it was Lebron's Mom's birthday and he posted a sweet caption and a nice picture collage. One of the comments simply stated, "Delonte West lol" (a reference to a former teammate of Lebron's who was rumored to have slept with Lebron's mom). What the f*ck happened for so many people to feel the need to bring someone down and hope for the worst for someone!?! Can't people live their life with graciousness and goodwill?
Don't get me wrong, I have definitely hated at times in my life. I hated my high school basketball coach for cutting me from the JV basketball team. I hated on the people who made the team over me. I hated my old boss. I even hated my old developer, who left my startup high and dry and ruined our friendship along the way. (That one I struggle with the most.)
The problem with hate is that it leaves you bitter. It makes you angry. It makes you resent what someone has and what you don't. It's infectious. It trickles down into your pores. It turns your optimism into pessimism. Hate is ugly.
For people who vent all the time or post hateful remarks on social media (I've blocked you already) – in all honesty – I think that person has a horrible sex life. No joke. I even imagine how awful it must be for that person and their partner. (So, yes, I imagine all of you naked. And it's glorious!)
But, really, I implore you – even if you have this awful sex life – to stop hating. Give a person their props. Or ignore them all together. Live your life free of this infectious hate and free of hurtful envy.
Unfortunately, anytime that someone of color does anything in America, someone is going to make a racist remark on Twitter. Whether it's Jeremy Lin during Linsanity, Nina Davuluri being crowned Miss America, Marc Anthony singing the national anthem at the all-star game, or even Richard Sherman gloating after a game, someone, somewhere is going to be making a hateful, racist remark. (When journalists get bored and lazy, just wait for this link-bait headline: "*So and so does something spectacular – People get racist on Twitter.") It's an easy story, because there's always going to be some haters out there.
You don't have to be that someone.
Thankfully, Facebook will NEVER get a "dislike" button, because Mark Zuckerburg knows that this world is already too filled with haters – particularly in the online, lurker community.
We don't need to hate on people for having things to get what we want. Hating can wear you out. It takes away from you really enjoying your life and those around you.
There are events in your life that are out of your control. And if those events turn out to be a negative in your life, sure, dwell on it for a bit, then let it go. Don't post hate to social media, don't spread that hate, and don't let it eat you up. Do something that is in your control that feels much better.
You'll see. It feels soooo much better.