How To Increase Your Dating Prospects With Low Risk Propositions

This is what I look like at the gym
The other day at the gym, I took a break from lifting up my shirt and staring at my abs in the mirror to listen in on a conversation between a guy and a girl. I could tell that she was in no rush to leave the conversation, so that was a good sign for the guy. But when it came time for the guy to ask her out, it didn't happen. He asked her what she was doing this weekend – nothing groundbreaking – and she asked him what he was doing – also nothing to write home about. It was the perfect opportunity to suggest a future hangout. But nothing. I was so bummed for him, that I almost forgot about flexing and looking at myself in the mirror. Almost. I mean, c'mon, have you seen my lats!?!? They're phenomenal.

For anyone who regularly reads my writings, you know that I try to help people – guys and girls – with words of wisdom. Since I am close to genius level on the IQ test, wisdom comes easy to me. Like when I scrub my penis really hard with soap and warm water to prevent STDs, or when I pair a salad with my Totino's Party Pizza to offset the preservatives and sodium, or when.... well, I could go on and on. I am a subscriber to the philosophy, "ain't no fun if the homies can't have none." That's why I am always jumping on grenades for my friends so that the homies can have some. But, really, I want everyone to get laid. Sex is great.

You can quote me on that one. It's deep. Think about it for a moment, if you need.

So after I returned to the mirror and duck-lipped a look for the ages, I thought about what could make dating easier for guys. I have always given advice that guys need to be confident, aggressive, and have a short-term memory when talking to girls and asking them out. But I had an 'ah-ha' moment right there at the gym. The reason the guy didn't ask her out was because it would've been a high risk proposition with a chance at a very public rejection. Most guys are so scared of failure and rejection that it leaves them incapacitated. For me, failure is like an everyday thing. (I can't tell you how many times I miss the mark when wiping after going #2.) So asking a girl out, point blank, is no big deal for me. For others, the situation can be terrifying.

Therefore, the key to being a successful dater and bettering your prospects is to be socially active. You still need to be aggressive, but you can make dating an easier equation by always having things going on in your life, so that when she asks you, you can casually invite her to an event you were already going to.

For instance, I am pretty much always doing something interesting. Sporting events. Concerts. Beach. Traveling. Parties. Rehab. Court appearances. Anger management classes. Sex Addicts Anonymous. I have so much going on that when I ask a girl what she's doing on a coming weekend, and she asks me the same question back, I can list the events and casually throw out "you should come meet up at rehab this weekend. They have free cookies and tea. And we can always spike the tea to liven things up." It is a low risk proposition with a potential high return. You don't need to go out on a limb and fully ask someone out on a "date." If she comes to your casual event, it's a great sign and another opportunity to explore whether you like each other further.

Even if you are a homebody who just likes watching football and playing video games all weekend long, you could still browse the upcoming events so that you have them to use in your back-pocket in case any hot girl asks. "Oh, this weekend?!?! Taking this awesome cooking class at Whole Foods on Friday, going to the park on Saturday with some friends and a concert later, tailgating and going to the Niner game on Sunday." This is when she identifies which of those events sound the most awesome to her. You've pretty much covered all the bases of interests: food, sunbathing, barbecuing, music, sports.... And once she gives you clues on what intrigues her. BAM. That's when you throw out, "you should totally come!"

See how much easier that is? And casual? Your ego stays intact no matter what! And if she says "no," it's a casual "no" to a casual question. No big deal! And she may even throw out, "but we should definitely get together some time soon!" Another win-win situation in the house! For the triple win-win-win? Constantly being on the go takes pressure and eagerness out of needing to ask someone on a date. Plus, you'll probably meet even more girls by going to unique events. And, really, stop watching football and playing video games all day long - there's a life out there to live! And if she flatly says "no," with no excuse or alternative? That's when you stare at her for a moment – to let the awkwardness settle in – and firmly say, "go f*ck yourself!" And walk away quickly, so she doesn't see the tears streaming down your face.

Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The SVB

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