What a Little Bit of Love, Optimism, and Laughter Can Do For You

Humor requires a certain amount of optimism. And for awhile there, much of my optimism was clouded by my relative adversity. In my life, I've had a handful of people tell me that I'm the funniest guy they know. Which makes me believe that they don't know that many people. Heck, I think I'm a really funny guy – mostly because I spend a lot of time alone, so I win by default – but for other people to feel that way!?!? Wow. All in all, I'm pretty grateful to be bestowed that kind of honor. Although it's still only the third thing I hear the most, with second place going to, "did you JUST wake up!?!?" And top honors going to, "STOP being so creepy!"

What!?!? I just like to stare a lot. And undress people with my eyes. Then, I like to follow them on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook friend them, LinkedIn request them, Snapchat them, WhatsApp them, and watch them fall asleep from a tree branch outside their window. I don't know what the big deal is.

When people tell me they read my blog, I'm truly honored. With the exception of some of the paid posts from dildo-companies (no joke), I only exploit you when there's money involved. But don't worry, I exploit myself as well. When people tip me an extra dollar per drink, I practically ask them how long I should bend over for. When writing, I hold a strict standard of making myself laugh, which I hope makes you laugh as well. Recently, I wrote a fairly sad post about some of the hardships I'd been facing. This led to a tremendous outpouring of support, which deeply touched me. I cried. Granted, I seem to cry a lot these days. Did anyone see that ESPYs special on Robin Roberts before she was presented with the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage?!? Or the Hoyts? About the Dad who's been literally pushing his son with cerebral palsy through hundreds of marathons!?!? I'm like an old woman. Next thing you know, I'm going to be watching The Bachelor and crying during each elimination. "YOU HANG IN THERE, GIRL!!! HE NEVER GAVE YOU A CHANCE!!!"

I'm happy to announce that my optimism is back in full throttle. As well as my use of tired proverbs. For every window that closes, another one opens. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Good things come to those who wait. Although there's one that I wholeheartedly disagree with - I refuse to believe the early bird catches the worm. Thus, I sleep happily into the late afternoon like a sloppy little pig.

My friend, Sasha, says it's cool to have a vagina on my shoulder.
My injuries have begun to heal. My scar looks pretty dope. Sometimes I wear a scar-reducing bandage on it, that people confuse and think is a tattoo bandage. This gives me a lot of street cred, because my Mom won't let me get a tattoo. I even held my breath for nearly 20 seconds and nearly passed out. She wouldn't budge! My ankle, while still not suitable for running, has not been getting sore after a day of walking around and standing on it. Or a night of tearing it up on the dance floor and wowing all the patrons. I don't mean to brag, but I'm one of the better Twerkers at the club. Most people stare at me with their mouth open - I assume because they can't imagine how I Twerk so well with no butt.

The new Girls on a Map site! 

Perhaps my proudest achievement (Peter Griffin would be proud!), my startup brought in a developer (part-time) who's done – in one and a half months – what my old sh*tty developer couldn't do (full-time) in three months. You've got to check the site out here, GirlsOnAMap.com - it's beautiful. The city tip pages are done, the profiles are complete so you can track your uploaded content... It's still in early beta with many features to come, but beautiful. I'm really excited about finally being able to do some marketing and PR in the near future, which is one of the things that I'm actually good at! It's too bad there's not a market for competitive sleepers, like there is for eaters. I amaze myself all the time. Sometimes I get up after eight or nine hours, because I start repeating dreams. Then I'll read the news on my phone or browse my Facebook newsfeed. This allows me to go back to sleep for a few more hours with new thoughts and dream scenarios. It's challenging to sleep that many hours. It's not like I'm a professional athlete or anything, who pushes my body to the boundaries. I'm pretty much doing the bare minimum.

Here's my Girls on a Map team, remotely toasting our re-launch on G+ Hangouts!
You've got to stop and appreciate the wins in life...
I even met an amazing gal. Who might even be smarter than me! But I doubt it. I lost her to medical school (fool's gold, if you ask me), but she helped me remember what it felt like to have a girl drive you mad, yet you come back asking for more. For that, I thank her. Best of luck to you as a "doctor" - when you're unemployed, I promise I won't say, "I told you so."

I want to thank you all for supporting me - family, friends, and readers. When I write for you, I put myself out there. (No more so than the last few posts.) That leaves me very vulnerable. I'm always worrying that you won't laugh. I worry that you won't be entertained. I worry that you won't like me. I worry that you won't continue to read. I say I write for myself, which is true, but I really write for you, because you are an extension of me. Your support, and my support of you, feels like I'm there for every birth, every promotion, every win, and every laugh. Not just because I'm watching it from outside your window, but because support is a tough bond to break.

It's odd how insecurities can keep you striving to always be better.

I can write better. I can love better. I can laugh better.

Let there always be optimism and laughter. No matter what you're going through.

And we'll do it together.

Love,
Kevin L.
The SVB

P.S. Now open those blinds a smidgen more. Tree bark is VERY uncomfortable!

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