Am I A Failure!?!?
It's been almost one month since my last post, which sucks, because I love to write. Almost as much as I love listening to the sound of my own voice. That's why, when I'm done writing a post, I like to read it out loud many times, so that two of the great joys in my life are combined. It's like listening to two angels making sweet, sweet love. There's a harp involved.
You may be asking yourself, "what is keeping Kevin so busy?" Well, I've been promoting and marketing my book, which is a full-time job of disappointment and one-sided conversations. It goes something like this:
Me - "Did you buy my book yet?"
Friend/Family Member - "No."
Me - "Oh. I see. Well, F*CK YOU!!!! AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT SEEING ME AT THE PANCAKE SOCIAL THIS WEEKEND!"
Marketing is full of intricate strategy and grace. I'm still tinkering with the above message.
But, now I know what it's like for someone to date me - constantly disappointed and frustrated.
Sex Partner - "Did you just cum?"
Me - "Yeah. Was I supposed to wait?"
Sex Partner - "F*CK YOU!!! 30 SECONDS IS FOR 18 YEAR OLD BOYS. NOT 30-SOMETHING YEAR OLD GUYS WHO ARE BLACKED OUT DRUNK!!!!"
Besides the book, which comes off of Amazon exclusivity on September 28th - in case you iPad and Nook owners have been eagerly waiting and didn't want to download the free Kindle app or buy a print copy - I've been working on my startup. It's not ready for public unveiling yet, but recruiting engineers is another full-time job. No wonder people do that for a living and get paid well for it. I will tell you about the startup one day and it will blow your mind. And, no, it's not a startup that involves a restaurant that combines recliners and Carne Asada Fries. That comes later.
As if I didn't have enough stuff going on, I've decided to launch a new daily website, BachelorDaily.com. Unlike SiliconValleyBachelor.com, where all my posts take me a few hours to write, the new website will be all the cool things I see on the web and in the world - on a daily basis. Think, the best of the web, funny YouTube videos, crazy, or cool new websites, pop culture, alcohol, hot parties, and of course, best deals on white v-neck t-shirts. "Like" the SVB Facebook fan page to get updates, but also there's a link at the top of this page next to the 'Home' tab, that says '(Daily!) Cool Bachelor Stuff Around the World'. Click it. It'll take you to the site.
I also wanted to add that my Dad thinks I'm a failure at what I'm doing now. So, using Al Bundy as an inspirational figure, I decided to double down. There was an episode where he geniously borrows money from the bank to start a shoe tip telephone hotline (this is also not my startup, but it's a good idea!). He uses the money to pay for a commercial. Of course, no one calls. He then borrows more money from the bank to make another commercial. Of course, no one calls. Finally, he borrows even more money to make ANOTHER commercial and PLEADS for people to call. And again, no one calls.
This is how I relate my life.
To watch a trainwreck in action - go to BachelorDaily.com. If you don't come, I will just start another site. And then another...
P.S. If you'd like to be a contributor, or have something cool I should share, email me at Kevin@BachelorDaily.com. You can read my first post EVER on the site here!!!