Every once in awhile, a moment seizes our bodies and minds like a third consecutive shot of vodka seizes our throats and brings up tiny chunks of dinner into our mouths. THIS is one of those moments. I'd like to proudly announce the release of my book, Berating Others On Your Way to a Lifetime of Happiness: That, and Dating Around the World. Buy the book on Amazon in print format or e-book here. I recommend the print format, since you'll get a cover with me not wearing a shirt. I did like three sets of 11 pushups before snapping that gem. Also, I got some surprises for you on the back cover too -- like words put together in sentences and... wait for it... wait for it... ANOTHER PICTURE OF ME!!!
But don't just take my word for it, read some of the recent critic reviews for the book:
"Move over Harry Potter, Bella Swan, and Katniss Everdeen, there's a new teen pop sensation in town and his name is Kevin Leu. I can only hope that this book is the first of a trilogy, and that the trilogy will be turned into movies, and that the last book will be split into two films. Only I hope the director strays from the book and makes an artistic decision to have Kevin Leu murdered at the end. That would be my dream come true." - The New York Times
"Upon first glance, I thought I had happened upon a sequel for some of Dr. Seuss' classic works. Then I realized that the elementary level of writing belonged to Kevin Leu, and that the intended audience must be for those with a low level of education." - USA Today
"Not since my last blog post, have I written anything remotely this entertaining. I highly recommend you buy this book." - Kevin Leu
"For the first time since 50 Shades of Grey, I felt strong, tingling feelings throughout my body while reading Berating Others. This feeling came from the bottom of my stomach and worked its way straight out of my throat. Reading Kevin Leu is a great way to shed a few pounds before hitting up the beach." - Wall Street Journal
"I didn't read much of the book, but I enjoyed the few pictures that were included. Next time wear a jacket in your picture. It gets cold at night. And are you eating one fruit and vegetable a day?" - Ellen Leu
"I got a boner while reading this book." - Kevin Leu
"If there hadn't been any other books released this month, I may have considered it for Oprah's Book of the Month Club. But, of course, there were literally thousands of more qualified books released that had typical book functions like a beginning, middle, and end. Berating Others on Your Way to a Lifetime of Happiness is definitely a page-turner of a book. At my current rate, I will finish it in five years." - Oprah
What other testaments do you need!?!? I have written many new posts for the book, including what country and ethnicities in the world are best at sex. And that's just the guys! I also included my patented "closer" move - that only my friends know about - where I can get a girl to go from first base to homerun 80% of the time. Some other gems? The secret of hostels, the two times I didn't hook up with a "sure thing", how to win over every girl's parents, and much, much more!
Fine, if you want to read some customer reviews, you can go here and THEN buy the book. I have spent countless hours, days, and months writing this blog for you guys. All I ask is for you to support me just this once! If you have ever laughed, hurled a little in your mouth, learned anything, been inspired, rolled your eyes, been insulted, wanted to kill me, support the US troops, are against terrorism, like dogs, cats or babies, then I strongly encourage you to buy this book. It's the only way to tell Bin Laden that he didn't win and for you to not have seven years bad luck in the sack.
Hey. I'm just the messenger.
In all seriousness, I love you all and have greatly appreciated your support in writing this blog over the years. Thank you.
The Silicon Valley Bachelor
P.S. And if you feel the urge, leave me a review on Amazon - it's like Facebook "liking" me times a 100!!! Go here! Although you can still "like" my book fan page here.