Match.com vs. OKCupid - Which Site Has Hotter Girls/Guys?


Old Media vs. New Media, Web 1.0 vs. Web 2.0, Paid vs. Free... but one thing they both have in common?!? The relentless, methodical stalker, otherwise known as 'The Silicon Valley Bachelor'. I don't mean to brag, but I stalked the hell out of people on both dating sites. Male, female, dog - didn't matter. Everyone was subjected to my leering, I'm-going-to-undress-the-sh*t-out-of-you, eyes as several hundred pictures were downloaded onto my computer into a folder titled, "Future Girlfriends". Creepy, ain't it? Sometimes when I'm downloading, I think it's creepy too, but then I continue while eating my cereal and watching cartoons as I fall asleep with the bowl resting on my chest.

With that said, let me tell you which dating site has hotter people.

First of all, you know there's a major problem when you spend more time looking at your OWN profile than you do looking at others. I mean, relatively speaking, I spend about one hour looking at myself in the mirror everyday - and there are 12 hours that I'm awake on each day - meaning, 1/12 of my time is spent flexing and making sure that I know how to purse my lips just right when it becomes game time and I must walk into a club.

Online, I spend roughly eight hours each day looking at my 26 dating site pictures and reading and re-reading over my bio. I beam and envy my own physique and cleverness. I spend about five minutes looking at who looked at me and then I get disgusted and stop. Therefore, I spend 95/96 (I can't divide into odd numbers - sorry) of my time looking at myself online. Something is wrong here. The answer is not quantitative, but uglitative.

People on online dating sites just aren't as good-looking as the rest of society. While, I, myself, have held my end of the bargain by transferring my real world looks online, the rest of the beautiful people in the world have not followed my lead. Don't get me wrong, there are some real pretty people online, but the majority are freaks. No offense. But, since when is it sexy to have a job, definitely want kids, don't smoke, enjoy traveling, eating, laughing, and have a physique that's described as 'athletic'?!?! Sounds like a disease. "My body type? Athletic." What are we?!? Sneakers? When I was growing up, we had three body types - skinny, healthy, and fat. They might as well expand the options even more:

Please choose your body type:
- Skinny
- Average
- Athletic
- Muscular
- A Little Extra to Love
- Bigger
- Nuts with Sprinkles on Top
- Play-dough-ey
- Papa Smurf
- Optimus Prime
- Jello Pudding Pop

Also, people just aren't as serious on OKCupid. Several of my first correspondences with women, where I suggest we run off and get married, were left unreturned. These messages were followed by messages that said: "Did you get my last message?" "Not sure if my computer had a glitch or if I got knocked off the internet just as I was pressing send, but have you considered my marriage offer?" "Must have plow experience."

On Match, girls are more attractive, more serious, and more value-oriented. Not like the hoochie mama, c*ck teases on OKCupid!

You know why people pay $20 to get into a club? Because the girls are hotter and the guys who can't afford it, are too cheap, or don't have enough charm to succeed, are filtered out. It's a win/win for everyone. That's kind of like the difference between Match.com and OKCupid. Match.com is a swanky club with greaseable bouncers and OKCupid is a dive-karaoke bar with unlimited capacity and a 5 to 1 guy/girl ratio.

I also equate OKCupid as a site for people who are 5's and below. I literally scrolled through hundreds of girls and didn't "wink" or email any of them. That is why I look at my own profile the most. It makes me happy. I giggle. And think, "whoever snags this dude, must be some classy babe." Too bad I can't "wink" at myself. I tried. I am thinking about creating another profile, just so I can flirt with myself. It would be a "match" made in heaven.

Anyhow, OKCupid does have a pay option that allows you to view the "top rated" women by users. It's kind of like "Hot or Not", where you rate women on a 5-star system. I have yet to give anyone a 5-star rating. At the very least, both sites allow you to create a profile for free and browse men or women. What have you got to lose? I browsed guys too. I really wasn't that impressed with the options, but then I realized that both sites show the users who clicked on your profile. I realized this when I saw some of those guys clicking on my profile. I am pretty sure they were thinking, "who the hell is this dude clicking on my profile?!?" That thought was probably followed by, "well.... he's not half bad."

Thank you. I work out.

Winner (based on hotness of clientele): Match.com

Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Silicon Valley Bachelor

P.S. If you don't want to pay for a dating network, you can see what girls look like all across the world, find out what they're like, and the best ways to meet them when traveling - in person - at this site, http://www.girlsonamap.com/.

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6 comments :

  1. Kevin - here is a funny story for you regarding online dating.

    I've been separated for the last year and my divorce is almost finalized thankfully. So last fall I decided to check out online dating via OKCupid since I'm a cheap ass mofo and this looked like a good place to start. And I have to agree with all of your comments...no decent girls and I've felt disgusted when looking at that site while continually pimping out my profile. Luckily right after I created the profile I met a cool girl, at a bar nonetheless, in Man Jose, and my OKCupid profile was disabled shortly after.

    Here is the funny part - earlier this week I decided to totally delete my OKCupid profile but before doing so, I decided to spend one last time time surfing the 3s and 4s this free site has to offer. Guess who came up as a 91% match? My almost ex-wife. F*ck online dating from a mid-30s bachelor.

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  2. That is effin hilarious!!! You should've "winked" at her and sent her an intro message asking what kind of things she's interested in.

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  3. The Match women are *much* hotter than the okcupid women in the Boston area, so it probably holds for the entire country. Unfortunately the Match women seem much squarer and a good measure dumber.

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  4. the question is, which site has more sluttier girls ? hahahaha

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  5. Too many people fabricate their information including photos online. Guys who are bald cover up with a baseball cap- girls think they are hot looking like a frat dude until......and girls say they are slender when in reality they could stand to drop a good 15. Thus I find from all my research as a professional matchmaker and founder of Linx Dating located in the Silicon Valley (Palo Alto) that OFFLINE is a better indicator of getting the exact PHYSICAL type you want. If my male clients say their ideal is Heidi Klum long and leggy, I will find them that type. If my female clients desire rugged soccer player build guy, I will use that as a strong data point to locate those types of matches. When you condense the pool down and remove all miss matches from the start, the process is extremely worthwhile and the chances of chemistry to occur are much higher versus the randomness of online- match, eHarmony, Zoosk, you name it!

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  6. Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Many thanks.sbobet

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