The Best Clubs Around the World that I Promised I Would Mention on SVB
By The SVB • 9:04:00 PM • Bar None Vancouver Blush Las Vegas Buffalo Bills Whistler Home Sydney Kit Kaboodle Sydney La Concha San Juan Lavo Las Vegas Room 18 Taiwan The Monkey Lounge Shanghai XS Las Vegas • Comments : 0
Anyhow, I'd like to give a shout-out to some of these club folks and their venues, of which you may have waited outside for hours, while the SVB strolled right up and was whisked away to VIP. And minutes later, ushered through the door to the alleyway where I was routinely beaten, probed with broom sticks, and then urinated on.... But for those few minutes, I got to see it all because I write a blog. One that has been read by over 90,000 people, with nearly 1,000 regular readers! Why you spend your time on me, I don't know. I would be watching YouPorn if I were you.
Sure, you may think of me as a great writer and sex symbol, but I actually am very good with verbally-spoken words as well. I could sell a woman in white gloves a ketchup popsicle. That's why when I speak to bouncers/promoters/management/ThaiMasseuses, they routinely allow me to enter because they believe I'm so accomplished.
Here are some of those cool-ass people who let me into the hottest clubs in their respective cities, sans cover and line. And believe me, they have to be the coolest venues, because I do my research. Those Thai Masseuses wouldn't dare lie to me. Now I know I lost half the business cards and almost all of my dignity most mornings, but here are the business cards that I found in my travel bag:
- Room 18
- The Monkey Lounge
- Bar None
- Buffalo Bills
San Juan, Puerto Rico
- La Concha
Las Vegas, Nevada
- Lavo and Tao Beach
- Kit & Kaboodle Supper Club
I'm missing several countries, sorry. Just writing down these places brings back so many fond memories. So. Much. Fun. I thank you all for serving alcohol and I apologize for consistently missing the mark when peeing in your urinals. I like peeing my initials on the ground. While intoxicated, this highly amuses me. Now, if you'll forgive me, I must go watch YouPorn now.
The Silicon Valley Bachelor
You can email me at SVBachelor@gmail.com.