Best Baby-Making Slow Jam/R&B Songs of the Early 1990s
By The SVB • 7:18:00 AM • Bobby Brown Color Me Badd Guy H-Town Hi-Five Immature Intro Jodeci Johnny Gill Keith Sweat Michael Cooper Shoop Shoop Mint Condition R Kelly Shai Silk Tevin Campbell Tony Terry • Comments : 2
If you were unlucky enough to makeout with me during my formative, precocious pre-teen and early teen years, chances are we were listening to one of these songs or I subsequently made you a mix tape that included one or more of these songs. I also probably told you I loved you right after our first makeout session. This was a period of time in my life when things were still good and honest.... back before I knew no real boots were harmed during baby-making. I probably walked you home or gave you a ride on the handlebars of my bike. I'd make out with you for hours on end, never once even considering going to second base. I'd ditch class just to wait for you outside yours so that I could walk you to your next one. It was all so sweet and simple. Now I just try and get you sh*t-can wasted in hopes that your decision-making skills are so severely impaired that you'll make the mistake of going home with me.
Ahhh, how life has changed for the better....
Below are the songs that make me want to hold hands with you all day, nibble and whisper into your ear, paint your toenails, and then smile as if it weren't the most painful thing I've ever done - all for the sake of making some sweet, sweet babies. (... that I will soon then ask for a paternity check as I call you a whore and force you to get an abortion.) (JK, but not really.)
The SVB's Baby-Making Mix Tape (Click on song for YouTube video):
Guy - Let's Chill
Hi-Five - I Can't Wait Another Minute (Try not to laugh during the group dancing)
Tony Terry - With You
Immature - Constantly
Silk - Freak Me
H-Town - Knockin Da' Boots
Johnny Gill - My, My, My
Tevin Campbell - I'm Ready
Bobby Brown - Good Enough
Mint Condition - Pretty Brown Eyes
Intro - Come Inside
Michael Cooper - Shoop Shoop
Keith Sweat - I'll Give All My Love to You (You've got to check out this live rendition!)
Jodeci - Come and Talk to Me
R. Kelly - Bump N' Grind
Shai - If I Ever Fall in Love
Color Me Badd - I Adore Mi Amor (You will laugh at least 3 times watching this video)
Boyz II Men - End of the Road
The irony of this mix-tape is that I would be done halfway through the first song. It would be like this:
Inebriated Unattractive Gal (IUG): Let's Chill! I love this song... oooohh. That feels good. Keep...
Me: Oh yeah... ARRRGHGHHGG
IUG: Um, what was that?
Me: Uh, I owe you one.
Me: Time to go to bed.
IUG: But we never EVER get to the second song!!!
Me: *loud snoring*
I strongly encourage you to click on the videos for some dope memories and great laughs. The outfits are ridiculous and there is not much storyline going on other than self-serving shots of the singers pointing at the camera and looking PAINFULLY in love. There is absolutely no choreography going on during the dance sequences - it's hilarious.
I actually want to have a themed party that only plays 90s slow jams. Who's down? Five-inch flat tops, vests with no shirts underneath, and makeout city on the dance floor... Don't worry, there will be enough towels for the ladies - you know what I'm sayin? (...cause I don't. Please fill me in.)
P.S. Jessica, I hope you feel better. Your love for Old School R&B inspired this post and renewed my passion for it. So for that, here's this generation's mix tape: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=2C25D093B3C8EB1B. And for all you who want to listen to the songs above continuously... Enjoy!
You can email me at SVBachelor@gmail.com.