Michelle Sullivan's Top 5 Facebook Pet Peeves

I don't typically read or enjoy other people's Facebook posts - rather I hide most of my friends from the newsfeed so that I can just read my own thoughts over and over. I find that I like to listen to myself talk as well - I have a calming influence that resonates within the bass of my voice. Listen to it sometime. People call me The Truth. Or Trufe - for the hip-hop crowd. But, today, I just happened upon a friend's post - only because I like to stalk her pictures in hopes that she might wear something revealing.

She posted her Top 5 Facebook Post Pet Peeves - and I was like, "word up, dog! Ain't that the trufe!" Well, here is what she says you shouldn't post on Facebook:

5. If I don't personally know you or haven't met you - don't add me as a friend. I may know your brother or your third cousin but I don't know you. Plain and simple.

4. Your judgmental rants are not poetic - just annoying and well... judgmental.

3. I'm sorry but I may love you but you bringing down my day with your pessimism, drama with your friends, boyfriends, girlfriends is not my business - don't air your dirty laundry on Facebook. It's just weird.

2. Food pictures - unless you are a professional food photographer - please don't bother as no picture you ever post will make me want to eat the entree you just took a picture of. Seriously, even if you have a very nice camera.

1. If you have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) go ahead text each other, call each other, hang out with each other. In no way do I need to view your personal messages, lovey doveyness and conversations to each other in a public forum. Attention seeking much? I don't care if you have a great relationship. Did Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey teach you anything - keep it to yourself and you might end up staying together!



Can I get "what, what!"? I feel very hip-hop today. Sorry. Well, since I long ago deleted you all from my newsfeed, I don't have to worry about this. But, you, my friends, should adhere to these rules. I would be annoyed as a mofo if I had to read ish like that. No what I'm sayin, boo?

And, btw, Michelle - you should post some more beach pics of yourself. Use my FB pics as a template for success. Maybe take a few shots from the bathroom mirror. I'm out.

Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Silicon Valley Bachelor
GH7TMTNS7RS4

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2 comments :

  1. You must be gearing up for pick up game of basketball in the ghettos of east palo alto. Get your swirve on playboi!

    Mad respeckkkk.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm like Billy Hoyle, hustling fools on the court... "You mean play basketball?!"

    "No, ice hockey, Gretzky. Now get your butt on the court."

    ReplyDelete

 
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