Like all swinging bachelors and bachelorettes of Silicon Valley, you leave this area to have a good time. So begins a month of travels this month and August that will see me go to the last two remaing major destinations in North America that I haven't been to: Vancouver and Boston!
I'll start off by heading to NYC this week, Vancouver the next, Seattle, Boston, Tahoe, and then Napa.
If you'd like to write a guest post, being as I won't be around much, feel free to email me your story. If not, I'll attempt to write sporadically and will almost certainly have good stories to tell from my travels.
Peace!
Kevin
The Silicon Valley Bachelor
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The Joys of Couplehood
I have many, many friends, almost all of whom are seriously dating, engaged, or married to some of the most awesome, perfect people. I get to spend a lot of time watching domestic bliss on the numerous outings and functions I attend. And while I sometimes want to smash them in all of their pretty little, laughing, cuddling, nurturing, comfortable, smug faces, other times I can't help but put the pieces together for my own future domestic bliss. Hey, while you may think I'm not a romantic, since I write a blog about drunken, bachelor debauchery, I must object. I once watched The Notebook for 10 minutes without running to the bathroom and throwing up. I AM Mr. Romantic.
I watch the joyful unions of my friends and I can truly say that it raises my already precariously high bar of standard that I have for women. They now must be able to read AND write. No exceptions. Remember that scene in The Wedding Singer, where Adam Sandler tells his friend he wants to be like him, like Fonzie, a different girl every night, no strings, no attachments? Then his friend tells him he's miserable? What he really wants is for someone to hold him and tell him everything's going to be alright. That's me. The jokes and self-deprecation are a sad, pathetic facade for a hurt and anger that simmers below the surface, readying itself for an orgasmic explosion.
I see the joys of my friends and want what they have. To be able to have someone who comforts you at night, shares your dreams, and be your partner in Applebee's $20-for an appetizer, two entrees, and a dessert - is that too much to ask for? I'll even let them have the dessert..... that is, for an exchange of a larger share of the appetizer.
There are many things I've enjoyed from my friend's relationships that I look forward to:
- Kitchen Utensils - Ever notice how you can go to a couple's home and they own every cool kitchen utensil ever made? Dicer. Blender. Cheese shredder. George Foreman Grill. Forks. Spoons. It's amazing! I have like one knife, one chopstick, and saved plastic utensils from Wendy's. Here's a typical scene at my couple friend's houses:
Me: Oh, let me help out and cut that cucumber. Give me a knife.
Them: Oh Kevin, you are so naive. Here, place it in the Dinglebopper - it'll slice into any size pieces you want, saute it, and using this motion sensor light, it'll then shoot out into our mouths wherever we are standing.
Me: Shamwow! Golly gee, I can't wait to get married so I too can own this stuff!
- Coupons - As I mentioned before, there are too many coupons built for two! Chili's just introduced a $20-two-entree-appetizer-dessert special as well. Forget Schindler's List - you have not seen the true meaning of sadness until you see me order this two entree special for one.
Me: Ummmm... I'll have the $20 special.
Chili's Server: Will there be someone else joining you this evening?
Me: No, you inconsiderate, m*ther*?!@#?C*ckSu&#inSonofa!@#^&@*! Why don't you announce it over the intercom?!?! You ungrateful, little prick!
Chili's Server: Sorry sir. I'll go get your order right away.
Me: Good. And be quick about it. And don't spit in my food while I'm looking.
- Renting Movies - When you rent a movie for $4, as opposed to going to see one, you save yourself $6. But when you have a significant other, you have now bumped up the savings to $16!
- A Warm Body - Sometimes it gets cold at night. Rather than turn up the heat, you can just get a little bit closer to the warm body (insert name here) next to you and save on your heating bill.
- Knowing - Do you ever ask someone's mate about the other person because you know they'll know every little thing about them? I want that. That way if my vocal chords need a break, or I just don't like the person, I'll just grunt and look towards my mate, who will answer all my relevant questions. Here's a typical scene of asking a mate:
Me: You think Seth will want to eat steaks tonight?
Significant Other: Oh yeah, there was this one time in 3rd grade when he pretended to be a cow and ran around saying, 'I'm the best piece of ass around! You can get some juicy pieces of Angus Seth Steak right here!' And he had it June 10th, May 15th, and April 2nd - so he's due. Not a bad Q-2, if I must say so myself.
Me: Great. That sounds like a lot of information for a simple question. You must know a lot about him.
Significant Other: I do. I'm his significant other. How sad - I see you have no one.
Me: (Through the tears) Uhhh, so... Outback sound ok?
See all the joys of love, companionship, and knowing? I want that unspoken bond. That, "I'll fart in response to your questions and you'll know what I mean"-type of love. Well, in the meantime, I'll hide the emptiness with humor. But just know, that when you're on the couch snuggling and laughing while I'm sitting next to you, I am hurting inside..... and I just may smash your face in.
Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Silicon Valley Romantic
I watch the joyful unions of my friends and I can truly say that it raises my already precariously high bar of standard that I have for women. They now must be able to read AND write. No exceptions. Remember that scene in The Wedding Singer, where Adam Sandler tells his friend he wants to be like him, like Fonzie, a different girl every night, no strings, no attachments? Then his friend tells him he's miserable? What he really wants is for someone to hold him and tell him everything's going to be alright. That's me. The jokes and self-deprecation are a sad, pathetic facade for a hurt and anger that simmers below the surface, readying itself for an orgasmic explosion.
I see the joys of my friends and want what they have. To be able to have someone who comforts you at night, shares your dreams, and be your partner in Applebee's $20-for an appetizer, two entrees, and a dessert - is that too much to ask for? I'll even let them have the dessert..... that is, for an exchange of a larger share of the appetizer.
There are many things I've enjoyed from my friend's relationships that I look forward to:
- Kitchen Utensils - Ever notice how you can go to a couple's home and they own every cool kitchen utensil ever made? Dicer. Blender. Cheese shredder. George Foreman Grill. Forks. Spoons. It's amazing! I have like one knife, one chopstick, and saved plastic utensils from Wendy's. Here's a typical scene at my couple friend's houses:
Me: Oh, let me help out and cut that cucumber. Give me a knife.
Them: Oh Kevin, you are so naive. Here, place it in the Dinglebopper - it'll slice into any size pieces you want, saute it, and using this motion sensor light, it'll then shoot out into our mouths wherever we are standing.
Me: Shamwow! Golly gee, I can't wait to get married so I too can own this stuff!
- Coupons - As I mentioned before, there are too many coupons built for two! Chili's just introduced a $20-two-entree-appetizer-dessert special as well. Forget Schindler's List - you have not seen the true meaning of sadness until you see me order this two entree special for one.
Me: Ummmm... I'll have the $20 special.
Chili's Server: Will there be someone else joining you this evening?
Me: No, you inconsiderate, m*ther*?!@#?C*ckSu&#inSonofa!@#^&@*! Why don't you announce it over the intercom?!?! You ungrateful, little prick!
Chili's Server: Sorry sir. I'll go get your order right away.
Me: Good. And be quick about it. And don't spit in my food while I'm looking.
- Renting Movies - When you rent a movie for $4, as opposed to going to see one, you save yourself $6. But when you have a significant other, you have now bumped up the savings to $16!
- A Warm Body - Sometimes it gets cold at night. Rather than turn up the heat, you can just get a little bit closer to the warm body (insert name here) next to you and save on your heating bill.
- Knowing - Do you ever ask someone's mate about the other person because you know they'll know every little thing about them? I want that. That way if my vocal chords need a break, or I just don't like the person, I'll just grunt and look towards my mate, who will answer all my relevant questions. Here's a typical scene of asking a mate:
Me: You think Seth will want to eat steaks tonight?
Significant Other: Oh yeah, there was this one time in 3rd grade when he pretended to be a cow and ran around saying, 'I'm the best piece of ass around! You can get some juicy pieces of Angus Seth Steak right here!' And he had it June 10th, May 15th, and April 2nd - so he's due. Not a bad Q-2, if I must say so myself.
Me: Great. That sounds like a lot of information for a simple question. You must know a lot about him.
Significant Other: I do. I'm his significant other. How sad - I see you have no one.
Me: (Through the tears) Uhhh, so... Outback sound ok?
See all the joys of love, companionship, and knowing? I want that unspoken bond. That, "I'll fart in response to your questions and you'll know what I mean"-type of love. Well, in the meantime, I'll hide the emptiness with humor. But just know, that when you're on the couch snuggling and laughing while I'm sitting next to you, I am hurting inside..... and I just may smash your face in.
Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Silicon Valley Romantic
Monday, July 20, 2009
Community College: A Disco with Books and Hot Women
I loved me some Community College! It was the only place that I could write for the school newspaper, run track, serve on the student body, get nearly a 4.0 - which just about tripled my high school GPA - work, and date, all at the same time. While I went there for just one year, it served as the spring board for much grander life accomplishments. Like the eventual start of this blog, the move-in with my parents for a year at 28, the endless comatose vodka drinking sessions, and massive depression.
Now, thanks to President Obama, Community Colleges will get the respect it deserves and many people can follow in my illustrious footsteps! Recently, President Obama made Community Colleges part of his plan to turn the economy around, by investing $12 Billion dollars in the institutions.
Chris Rock once said: "Community College is like a disco with books: 'Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!'"
And you know what? He wasn't that far off.
NBC is coming out with a new television series called Community. Here's the tagline: It's been said that community college is a "halfway school" for losers, a self esteem workshop for newly divorced housewives, and a place where old people go to keep their minds active as they circle the drain of eternity. Well, at Greendale Community College...that's all true.
So you're telling me there's a chance..... Essentially, Community College is overflowing with opportunity - if you know what I mean. Fresh-from-high-school-legal-impressionable-"opportunity" (for creepy losers like me), and desperate-to-be-accepted-willing-to-do-whatever-divorced-cougars-freedom-"opportunity" (I'll take that too), and just plain dumb "opportunity" (sign me up!).
Let's keep it real here. Most smart girls that go to 4 year institutions are probably not the hottest of their breed. All the hot girls were busy being popular, making out with boys, reading US Weekly, fantasizing about me - setting themselves up for a lifetime of frivolous, shallow thoughts. Since they don't know what to do after high school, many either get pregnant, wander around the malls aimlessly, or go to Community College for a lack of other ideas. That's where us bachelors come in! Plop down your $10, step into a few classrooms - probably classes like basic english and math - and get your learn on sitting next to the hottest girls from all the area high schools.
But that's not it! (This is like a late night infomercial.) If you sign up today, we'll throw in a plethora of divorced, underappreciated cougars! These women would go home with a log if it showed interest. How else do you think I get any action? All you have to do is compliment them and they're yours. They will giggle like young school girls because they've been out of the game for so long and won't realize they shouldn't have gone home with you until after your 3 minutes of pleasure are fulfilled. You will roll over with a smile from ear to ear and she will wonder if all sex is like this and then worry that her wrinkled body is not up to par. The best part is you won't have to worry about kicking her out, she'll already have to get home to her kids.
So rather than waste $100s of dollars every weekend buying drinks to work up the courage to talk to only a mildly attractive girl who has been boosted up by the dizzying amount of sausage in the viscinity and then get rejected, save your money and head for the nearest community college. Besides the great ratio, you can also tell the professors to kiss your rear end if they ever ask you why you haven't done any of your homework, nor own any of the required textbooks. You can do all the things you dreamed of doing in college, but were too afraid to do. Like, I used to dream of rolling off my chair and sleeping in a fetal position on the ground during class. Weird, I know, but I fantasize about sleeping in precarious situations and environments. It turns me on.
You too can fulfill your fantasies in Community College! Good luck!
Sincerely,
Kevin
The Silicon Valley Bachelor
Sunday, July 12, 2009
What Type of Girl Should I Date? The Many Hats of Love....
In my life, I’ve worn many different hats - literally and metaphorically. Name a style/genre and I’ve probably done it. I did the hat resting over the top of my gelled bangs, sideways baseball cap, French artist hat, trucker hat, and even, my favorite, the ten gallon cowboy hat. What this all means is ....I wanted to get into the pants of many different types of women in my life! (See styles below.)
I got all dressed up for my cousin's graduation in 8th grade.
Freshman year I wanted to show that I was a cultured gangsta.
Ladies love a guy who's great with kids, so junior year I hired these kids off the street...
"Where the heck am I? And why is this medical bracelet on my wrist?"
The fisherman hat gay years.
The 'I'll wear any hat to get in your pants' years.
And.... this look never really took off. I still don't get it....
Country music. A place where Asians feel at home.
As you can probably ascertain from the pictures above - I’m still a virgin. Heck, I couldn’t tell you what a boob felt like unless you believed it felt like a bag of sand. But no really, what does it feel like? Please leave comments below...
But, I’m thinking I’m going to break this streak soon, maybe go hatless in my next stint –frost the tips blonde a little. OK, I’m lying... I may have hooked up here and there. As many of my friends will tell you, I don’t discriminate on my styles of women: hip-hop, gangsta, church, choir, theatre, goth, punk, nerd, country, skinny, fat, mother, daughter, father (just once, and it was after watching Milk. What!??! I needed a shoulder to cry on. After drinking that box of wine, one thing led to another...), druggy, jock, butch, club, and the list goes on…..
Here is the definitive list on the pros and cons of the different styles of women to date and your chances to score:
Punk (think Pink, Courtney Love) – this is the type of girl who will shotgun a beer, has a fouler mouth than you do, will call you a pussy for not doing a flip when wakeboarding, and will burp like Shrek the Ogre. C’mon, we all know these girls. There’s one in every bunch of prissy females.
Pros: It’s like hanging with one of the boys.
Cons: It’s like hanging with one of the boys.
Pros: You’ll probably get to have sex with her on the first night.
Cons: She will literally kick your ass if you don’t last longer than 3 minutes. (Of course, I routinely go over 4….)
Pros: You don’t have to baby her.
Cons: She will kick your ass.
Pros: It’s beautiful when she lets down her guard to show you a little bit of vulnerability while in bed.
Cons: Then she will quickly kick your ass for witnessing it.
Hip-Hop (Jennifer Lopez, Rihanna) – this is the type of girl who will get done up for her man and expects to be treated like a queen in return. Not only does she expect it, she will burn your house down if it doesn’t happen (think Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes – RIP). You will always be late because she’s spending hours putting on her makeup, but boy, when she does…. nice! Before you rejoice, just know that these women are also prone to arguments and drama. It’s part of their DNA.
Pros: Felatio is a given.
Cons: Felatio has to be given.
Pros: She knows the words to every hip-hop song on earth, including those annoying songs by Lady Gaga.
Cons: She can’t tell you the meaning to any of those songs she recites by heart.
Pros: She will let you do everything you’ve ever seen in a pornographic film.
Cons: Her brother is probably in jail, so you better ask nicely.
Pros: She’ll engage you mentally and verbally.
Cons: But her delivery will be at the top of her lungs and snarled.
Girl Next Door (Jennifer Love Hewitt, Carrie Underwood) – this is the type of girl who will bake your buddies a batch of cookies, grab you a beer, and clean. But they will also police your ass like no other. On the outside, they’ll be pretty darn cool, but once you settle down or have a baby, they’ll go all Kate Gosselin on you – nagging and dirty looks galore!
Pros: She will cook.
Cons: Nothing. What’s wrong with cooking?
Pros: She will grab you and your bros a beer.
Cons: She will cut you off at 2... in front of your friends.
Pros: She will be down, sexually.
Cons: But after a year, her lack of rhythm will make you lose interest and you will resort to getting fat and watching football all weekend long.
Pros: She will be a great mother.
Cons: You never said you wanted to be a father.
Alternative (Sheryl Crow, Maggie Gylenhaal) – this is a girl who will have a minimum of 3 piercings in her ear. She will only shave her legs twice a year – same goes for the other parts of her anatomy. She will dance when there is no beat, swaying like a flowered hippy-child to the treble.
Pros: She will find sex spiritual.
Cons: You will be like “WTF?!?! It’s just sex.”
Pros: She will force you to eat organic and healthy.
Cons: You will have nasty, unsolid poo.
Pros: She will have a diverse group of friends.
Cons: They will all hate you.
Pros: She’ll want to explore your thoughts and feelings.
Cons: She will discover that your thoughts consist of nothing more than sex, sports, beer, and dogs playing pool.
Welp, hope this helps out. In the meantime, don't limit yourself and enjoy some crazy, unique ass that you wouldn't normally subject yourself to. And if you're a lady, maybe consider a helmet-goggle-scarf-wearing guy every once in awhile. He'll be... I mean, you'll be glad you did!
Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Silicon Valley Bachelor
I got all dressed up for my cousin's graduation in 8th grade.
Freshman year I wanted to show that I was a cultured gangsta.
Ladies love a guy who's great with kids, so junior year I hired these kids off the street...
"Where the heck am I? And why is this medical bracelet on my wrist?"
The fisherman hat gay years.
The 'I'll wear any hat to get in your pants' years.
And.... this look never really took off. I still don't get it....
Country music. A place where Asians feel at home.
As you can probably ascertain from the pictures above - I’m still a virgin. Heck, I couldn’t tell you what a boob felt like unless you believed it felt like a bag of sand. But no really, what does it feel like? Please leave comments below...
But, I’m thinking I’m going to break this streak soon, maybe go hatless in my next stint –frost the tips blonde a little. OK, I’m lying... I may have hooked up here and there. As many of my friends will tell you, I don’t discriminate on my styles of women: hip-hop, gangsta, church, choir, theatre, goth, punk, nerd, country, skinny, fat, mother, daughter, father (just once, and it was after watching Milk. What!??! I needed a shoulder to cry on. After drinking that box of wine, one thing led to another...), druggy, jock, butch, club, and the list goes on…..
Here is the definitive list on the pros and cons of the different styles of women to date and your chances to score:
Punk (think Pink, Courtney Love) – this is the type of girl who will shotgun a beer, has a fouler mouth than you do, will call you a pussy for not doing a flip when wakeboarding, and will burp like Shrek the Ogre. C’mon, we all know these girls. There’s one in every bunch of prissy females.
Pros: It’s like hanging with one of the boys.
Cons: It’s like hanging with one of the boys.
Pros: You’ll probably get to have sex with her on the first night.
Cons: She will literally kick your ass if you don’t last longer than 3 minutes. (Of course, I routinely go over 4….)
Pros: You don’t have to baby her.
Cons: She will kick your ass.
Pros: It’s beautiful when she lets down her guard to show you a little bit of vulnerability while in bed.
Cons: Then she will quickly kick your ass for witnessing it.
Hip-Hop (Jennifer Lopez, Rihanna) – this is the type of girl who will get done up for her man and expects to be treated like a queen in return. Not only does she expect it, she will burn your house down if it doesn’t happen (think Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes – RIP). You will always be late because she’s spending hours putting on her makeup, but boy, when she does…. nice! Before you rejoice, just know that these women are also prone to arguments and drama. It’s part of their DNA.
Pros: Felatio is a given.
Cons: Felatio has to be given.
Pros: She knows the words to every hip-hop song on earth, including those annoying songs by Lady Gaga.
Cons: She can’t tell you the meaning to any of those songs she recites by heart.
Pros: She will let you do everything you’ve ever seen in a pornographic film.
Cons: Her brother is probably in jail, so you better ask nicely.
Pros: She’ll engage you mentally and verbally.
Cons: But her delivery will be at the top of her lungs and snarled.
Girl Next Door (Jennifer Love Hewitt, Carrie Underwood) – this is the type of girl who will bake your buddies a batch of cookies, grab you a beer, and clean. But they will also police your ass like no other. On the outside, they’ll be pretty darn cool, but once you settle down or have a baby, they’ll go all Kate Gosselin on you – nagging and dirty looks galore!
Pros: She will cook.
Cons: Nothing. What’s wrong with cooking?
Pros: She will grab you and your bros a beer.
Cons: She will cut you off at 2... in front of your friends.
Pros: She will be down, sexually.
Cons: But after a year, her lack of rhythm will make you lose interest and you will resort to getting fat and watching football all weekend long.
Pros: She will be a great mother.
Cons: You never said you wanted to be a father.
Alternative (Sheryl Crow, Maggie Gylenhaal) – this is a girl who will have a minimum of 3 piercings in her ear. She will only shave her legs twice a year – same goes for the other parts of her anatomy. She will dance when there is no beat, swaying like a flowered hippy-child to the treble.
Pros: She will find sex spiritual.
Cons: You will be like “WTF?!?! It’s just sex.”
Pros: She will force you to eat organic and healthy.
Cons: You will have nasty, unsolid poo.
Pros: She will have a diverse group of friends.
Cons: They will all hate you.
Pros: She’ll want to explore your thoughts and feelings.
Cons: She will discover that your thoughts consist of nothing more than sex, sports, beer, and dogs playing pool.
Welp, hope this helps out. In the meantime, don't limit yourself and enjoy some crazy, unique ass that you wouldn't normally subject yourself to. And if you're a lady, maybe consider a helmet-goggle-scarf-wearing guy every once in awhile. He'll be... I mean, you'll be glad you did!
Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Silicon Valley Bachelor
Monday, July 6, 2009
Miss Michigan Gina Valo is Following Me on Twitter!
I have good news, friends and fellow blog-readers. Make that - excellent news - for I am not worthy of such good news. You remember in Married with Children (my favorite TV show), how nothing good would ever happen to Al Bundy for too long? That's me. Well, today, I logged into my Twitter account, which I use sparingly, only to find that I now have 45 'followers'. 44 of whom I could care less. (Sorry, Mom.) That one other follower? Gina Valo, former Miss Michigan!
Why she is following me, I have no idea..... But I checked to see if maybe she was just doing some kind of mass follow to get people to follow her back. Good news! (Again.) She is ONLY following 86 people! I am not the recipient of some pointless, mass follow! Yipppeeeeeee!
My only thought is that she follows this funny, deep, well-written blog, that often times uses clever word play and big words, that comes off as downright sexy, no matter what language you speak. It's also a place where I did happen to write a stalkerish post about her some 2 years ago. Or maybe it's that I'm an excellent go-go cage dancer and she saw me in Vegas before I got kicked out of the club. Or that she has been in Pocatello, ID, Redding, CA, San Diego, CA, or Columbus, OH during one of my newscasts and was instantly smitten with my deep, baritone, James Earl Jones voice and rock solid cheekbone structure. Anyway, the theories are boundless.... Bloggers, discuss. (My vote is for chiseled cheekbones.)
Well, because I am the SVB - it's time to play a little hard to get. Pause. Wait for it..... I am NOT going to 'follow' her back. What am I? Some kind of floozy? Followers must do something special to get a follow-back. You can't just be sexy, beautiful, smart, talented, and well-written (she actually has a pretty good blog at thesecondfiddle.blogspot.com) - you've got to stand apart - like knowing how to program the time on a Microwave, or quote lines from Tommy Boy, or hold my head out of the toilet when I'm puking - those are the traits that are truly special.
If for some reason this is just some kind of fluke Al Bundy moment and Gina meant to follow someone else, please do not inform me of this. Ignorance is bliss. And NO ONE enjoys being more ignorant than me.
Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Happy Ignorant Silicon Valley Bachelor
P.S. Read her blog post on her dating exploits... remind you of someone you know??? I rarely laugh when reading any other blog posts besides my own, but I had to laugh a few times when reading that post. I didn't read any of her other posts, because I was too busy catching up on the old posts I'd written last year.
Why she is following me, I have no idea..... But I checked to see if maybe she was just doing some kind of mass follow to get people to follow her back. Good news! (Again.) She is ONLY following 86 people! I am not the recipient of some pointless, mass follow! Yipppeeeeeee!
My only thought is that she follows this funny, deep, well-written blog, that often times uses clever word play and big words, that comes off as downright sexy, no matter what language you speak. It's also a place where I did happen to write a stalkerish post about her some 2 years ago. Or maybe it's that I'm an excellent go-go cage dancer and she saw me in Vegas before I got kicked out of the club. Or that she has been in Pocatello, ID, Redding, CA, San Diego, CA, or Columbus, OH during one of my newscasts and was instantly smitten with my deep, baritone, James Earl Jones voice and rock solid cheekbone structure. Anyway, the theories are boundless.... Bloggers, discuss. (My vote is for chiseled cheekbones.)
Well, because I am the SVB - it's time to play a little hard to get. Pause. Wait for it..... I am NOT going to 'follow' her back. What am I? Some kind of floozy? Followers must do something special to get a follow-back. You can't just be sexy, beautiful, smart, talented, and well-written (she actually has a pretty good blog at thesecondfiddle.blogspot.com) - you've got to stand apart - like knowing how to program the time on a Microwave, or quote lines from Tommy Boy, or hold my head out of the toilet when I'm puking - those are the traits that are truly special.
If for some reason this is just some kind of fluke Al Bundy moment and Gina meant to follow someone else, please do not inform me of this. Ignorance is bliss. And NO ONE enjoys being more ignorant than me.
Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Happy Ignorant Silicon Valley Bachelor
P.S. Read her blog post on her dating exploits... remind you of someone you know??? I rarely laugh when reading any other blog posts besides my own, but I had to laugh a few times when reading that post. I didn't read any of her other posts, because I was too busy catching up on the old posts I'd written last year.
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