What Countries/Ethnicities Have Women Who Age Well?



Out of all the preposterous posts I have ever written, this one has the potential to offend the most people.... so what are we waiting for!?! (FYI: I've been watching a lot of The Family Guy, plus I haven't posted in awhile - give me a break!)

Month after month, the most read post in my blog portfolio is found through the search terms, "Icelandic women," "women of Iceland," and "easiest women in the world." Whoever thought my core readership is full of chauvinistic, perverted, testosterone-fueled men is WAY off base. I'd like to think of us as promiscuously curious. Sounds much better - don't you think?

Well, not only are we curious, we are eager at debating the merits of beauty in Iceland and many others places we can't pronounce. (Next thing you know, they'll ask us to spell "Rizzuto" in cursive!) Take for instance this recent comment left on my "World's Easiest Women: Iceland" blog post:

"I graduated High School at the NATO base in Iceland and it is true that the Icelandic women, say from 18-30. look very good and are rather promiscuous. They are not all blondes and some of the prettiest Icelandic girls I knew had sandy to brown hair. It was not uncommon for NY modeling agencies to send scouts up to review seniors graduating from High School. Three of my icelandic friends received modeling contracts while I was there. BUT ... I'm not sure if it's the weather, diet, or marriage; but Icelandic women do not age gracefully. Most Icelandic women in their 40s-50s were rather pudgy and just looked like they quit taking care of themselves. I never met a Icelandic girl between 18-25 who was heavy. I did not meet one Icelandic woman over 40 who was thin."

Well said, my friend. Well said. We are not the "pudgy"-lover-types!

It kind of make you want to give an Arsenio: "hmmm...." What countries and ethnic backgrounds feature women who age well? Because, let's face it, as noble as this thing called "love" is, as men, we still want a hot milf for a wife at 50, rather than a dumpy, wrinkled, dilapidated version of the woman we fell in "love" (or lust) with. Ok, ok, I'm the asshole here. You want my food? Because I don't want it. I would never eat here.

Let us begin with the ethnicities and my assessment of whether or not they'll age gracefully. Having lived in California, there's not much we don't have (or that I haven't dated: Chinese, Polish, Mexican, Dog, Ape, Chimp, Cockroach....).

Chinese: They will age well, but you will have to deal with their face visors and white gloves that cover up their exposed skin from the aging Devil, called the sun. You like Nicole Kidman and Kirsten Dunst's ghost-like skin? Then go Chinese.

Japanese: These women will age well, wear lots of makeup, and lose about 7 inches in height.

Korean: Koreans are most likely to date outside of their Asian ethnic background, so I'm tellin' you there's a chance...... Although, you will have to deal with deteriorating conversation skills and an enlarging face. (Holy sh*t! I'm going to hell. Family Guy, Family Guy, Family Guy...)

Vietnamese: These women will age remarkably well. Not only will they not gain much weight, but they also will not improve upon their English skills for as long as you know them.

Indian: Indians age pretty well, but it'll be hard to tell if they ever gain any weight, since their clothing will continue to get larger and baggier. Don't expect them to smile.

Mexican: As curvaceous and sexy as a latina can be in their youth, you can add about 15 pounds for each kid that pops out. This weight will never be lost. The good news? Their clothes will continue to get tighter to make up for the added weight!

American Black: Like Asians, black women age well. The weight they'll gain will go to their boobs and hips. And then.... their boobs and more hips.... Until they are touching.

English: They will look 10 years older than they really are and cease to wear makeup anymore. They will also refuse to invest in any hair-dying products as their hair hits complete white at 40.

Polish: These women are hot. But the lack of money in their home country means no infrastructure investment in 24 Hour Fitnesses. So as long as they don't adopt American fast-food eating habits, you're in good shape. (Get it?!?! Shape? Haha, I'm funny and clever. Also, retarded.)

Russian: I don't have many qualms about the Russian women I've met and seen. I think they age well, stay relatively in-shape, and are quick to pick up important habits: like working out, cooking, and cleaning. (Kidding.) Although, when they talk to their friends in their native language, it will sound very angry and you'll flash back to all those movies where the Russians are the bad guys and worry that you'll be murdered in your sleep. (Not kidding.)

Iranian/Persian: They will look good, but you will probably stop getting some after marriage. You will also have to hold many, many shopping bags at the mall, or worse yet, have to open a joint banking account.

Greek: These women age year-by-year until 40. Then all of a sudden, they look 80.

Italians: I like the Italians, but their love for the sun will make their faces look like dried leather by 50.

French: They will stop shaving their armpits and legs... oh wait, that's already happened. Their conversation and intellect will continue to improve, but you will have to be a hair-lover.

American White: Well, I saved the most complicated for last. What can you say? We live in a culture of extreme and instant gratification. Either the women will just let it go from instant fast-food gratification, or fix themselves immediately with plastic surgery gratification.

Now that I've managed to offend the entire female species, I will go back to dating cockroaches. The male ones.

Sincerely,
Kevin
The Silicon Valley Bachelor

P.S. Feel free to contribute to this list! And, here's a site where you can see what girls look like all around the world. It's pretty cool. http://www.girlsonamap.com/

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33 comments :

  1. Hmmm... that is pretty offensive. ;)

    I would just like to point out that I'm mexican and I've had a child and I weigh less than I did before. So, hmmmph!

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  2. @ktlynnm You're not REALLY Mexican. Your first name is Katie, for Pete's sake!

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  3. who the cares how they age?! when they start falling apart, you just get another one. (And you thought you could be offensive!)

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    1. Good luck with that because u get viruses better yet u be old and younger women wouldn't want u unless your rich even than there high in stds and aids these days.

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  4. Funny post. Not sure how I find this site (oh yea, via Iceland research), but some good writing.

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  5. haha, I was conference call hell today (SF based) when I came across your blog. Good shit, keep it up.

    By the way go to Iceland. Seriously, done. Go.

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  6. cawthorn zero shall math nromano malen media commentators packaging goes portuguesa
    semelokertes marchimundui

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  7. did it ever occur to you that these words: suck it and make it hard are the reason behind all of it?

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  8. Portugese women are pure coug.

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  9. I disagree, middle eastern women age like milk...Haha

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  10. I loves my puerto rican babe, my thai and japanese mistress's and russian brides. Also some niggers look good but not many, would touch an arab slut cuz they smell like rotten camel shit

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  11. I loves my puerto rican babe, my thai and japanese mistress's and russian brides. Also some niggers look good but not many, would touch an arab slut cuz they smell like rotten camel shit

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  12. Latina/americans, Polish/americans, & italian/americans all the way.. NEXT..

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  13. Everyone ages if they don't take care of themselves, plus add genetics, stress, lifestyle, etc.
    The important thing is that most people at 40-50 ...can look much older while others can look 10 years younger. Many factors involved.
    Also, when dating, try to project that sweetheart 20-30 years into the future. Many of the old wrinkled and obese people you see today, were the beauty queens of yesteryear. You will likely find the same fate as those that you make fun of. LOL.

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  14. Dude. Where do you live? Black, Blondes, middle eastern and asian for the most part all age like shit. Its genes idiot. If your mom was hot in the 50s, naturally, the next generation will look better than the last. Furthermore, if both of your parents look like shit and they bump uglies (pun intended) hence you will look like shit and age like milk. Its random chance. But I do see what you mean by certain sects aging not so gracefully. But then again you listed almost every race there is. Never seen a good looking 60+ asian woman or black woman.

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    1. Where do you live? How in the WORLD can you but Black and White women in the same category. Plastic surgeons would die without white women

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  15. I think the post is beautiful but incorrect. It did brings tears to my eyes.

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  16. Always women. What about the men. They age worse than we do.

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    Replies
    1. Bullshit. Women age far worse than men.

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  17. Blacks, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans age very very poorly at least the ones in America. Reason being they are generally poor and have babies when they are like 16 years old. They have poor diets and they get all fat. And exposed to too much sun.

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    1. Black people do not age poorly. Unless they have health problems. As in becoming an alcoholic or some type of form of addiction

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    2. Yes they do. Ayone can age slower if they take care of themselves but its a fact blacks have disproportionately poor diets and higher drug and alcohol abuse.

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    3. Thank-you they don't look online white people age extremely poorly they just don't want to admit. Black people have good skin than don't tan easily like white people

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  18. Uhm Greeks and most Mediterranean people age quite well actually. Great diet and good skin. Greek women take good care of themselves and don't let themselves go.

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  19. Jeez the guys on here... As for OP: Funny how you write you want to find "love". You won't find any. Get hot escorts and stick to it. Love isn't in for assholes. Women sense very well what a guy is up for. If she realizes it's about looks and sex, sure, she'll fuck you if you have money and she'll look pretty by your side. But after a while either you replace her because you've reached yet another level of superficiality or (if there's a big age gap) she'll dump you because thruthfully no young woman wants an old slag by her side no matter the pay. Unless she suspects you might die soon and senses the oppertunity to get a big slice of what you leave behind. You'll die knowing nobody has ever loved you other than your mum and sadly probably will only regret it when it's too late and you've gotten too rotten for anybody to want you for you. Judging by your writing style you're not looking for love anyway so it shouldn't bother you for now. Good god, I never understood how women could be with guys who have nothing to offer other but money. The price is spending your time with a series of delta males. Must be rough.

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  20. Totally entertaining. Witty... I literally LOL. Your writing is quite engaging.

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  21. I like to date with Ukrainian women in internet and chat with them because there are very smart and beautiful, I'm sure someday I'll find my Ukrainian bride, want to share with you one great Ukrainian dating website https://katedating.com
    Try some and I'm sure you'll find your real love. Good luck.

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    Replies
    1. How do you date with them in internet??? How sad, I thought you had to be in the same city to date a person.

      Delete
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  23. Funny and so true! Indians age well in terms of skin and looks. Even a 50 year old woman will look 10 years younger to her age. If they take care of their size, dressing and makeup they can look gorgeous even till 60. They indeed age like wine. Plus you have all shades of brown skin tone to pick from -light/pale white looking to serious brown. Some even have natural light eyes so really making them exotic. And about them not smiling, most of the metropolitan Indians and Indians living in western countries are all about open and socializing so that problem is also solved.

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  24. Oh please. I've visited India MANY times in the past 3 years and I can tell you that MOST Indians do not age well. They also tend to gain weight as soon as they get married particularly round the middle. Most Indian women don't look after themselves, and no I'm not talking about layering makeup; I'm talking about even something simple such as wearing deodorant after a shower! Many don't wash their hair and slap it on with heaps of coconut oil, leaving them in for days on end. Their idea of what's beautiful is definitely skewed and nowhere near Western standards. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule...but in India and where Indian women are concerned, the exceptions are 'one in a million'...

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