Drunk Text Booty Calls!

While time, wisdom, and Jack in the Box has quelled my thirst for the drunken booty call text, there are still many a nights where I look at my phone longingly and scroll through the list of women from years past. It used to be systematic: Go to a club, hit on women, strike out (errr, I mean, reject women), get kicked out, wait outside in the cold, swallow sadness, and then text every single romantic interest I have ever had since 5th grade. Now, I just look at my phone and know that I am too good for this. I mean, I'm already disappointed, why end a girl's night in disappointment as well?!!? Although, for at least two minutes, it's AWESOME! Plus, I like to sprawl out on my bed alone all drunken and naked like a giddy, muddied pig!

Anyway, my coworker and desk neighbor, Irit, sent me this site called http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/ and it brought back some of the good old days - back when I was king of the text, and lord of the Jumbo Jack! Now I watch The Notebook and Twilight when I have nothing better to do. So, on this site people text in funny and/or disturbing texts they have received or left. Here are some of my favorites:

(562): glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore

(415): I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

(401): my mouth tastes like poor choices

(870): do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
(1-870): well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
(870): what chic?

Haha, good times! Sigh* I remember my first all-male threesome! Talk about awkward! My texts in my heyday were pretty basic. Things like: "Sex. Now." or "I just heard a song that reminds me of you. Let's have sex." or "Hey, Barry Bonds is at the plate. I want you."

Check out the site if you haven't. Another good and similar site is http://www.fmylife.com/. They may not all be real, but they're short, funny, creative condensed messages in this world of 140 characters or less. My blog might cease to exist in another year. Too many words! It's kind of like when they say the MTV generation has a limited attention span because of the commercial, cut-aways, etc. that keep our minds programmed at certain time constraints.

Oh well. If that happens, I got 140 characters for you: F you! No, I mean that literally. Let's have sex.

Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Silicon Valley Bachelor

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2 comments :

  1. Fmylife.com is cool but if you like that you should love http://www.fwhyme.com/ If you like FMl stories youll love the jokes and confessions.. i was in love with FML till i founds FWM

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Top Five Booty Texts - http://www.fuckmyliver.com/top-5-booty-texts/1042/

    ReplyDelete

 
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