The Circle of Love

I'm BACK!!!! Now that my screenplay is in the hands of someone who can make stuff happen in Hollywood, I don't really have much to do in the evenings and weekends anymore. I can now write profusely about my life and dizzying collection of nonsensical thoughts that will have you demanding your time back.

First of all, this is a banner year in the love department: 6 people I know are getting married, including 2 ex-girlfriends, 5 friends are proposing, while 2 are getting divorced. It's the circle of love. As for me? I'm still the SVB, but would happily trade that in for the right woman. Either that or I'm going to be like Fonzie- hitting on women until I'm 50. And you know what happened to Fonzie, right? His show got canceled, because no one wants to see a 50 year old guy hitting on chicks. (I stole those lines from The Wedding Singer!) All I really want is for someone to wrap their arms around me and tell me, everything is going to be ok.

There's a strong likelihood that I will be a home-owner in the next week in the Man Jose area of California and that is in no way depressing. I've wanted to be a home-owner for a long time, but quickly lost all desire upon moving back to Cupertino 3 years ago. The good news is rather than being just a mile away from my parents, I would now be half a mile away! I'm sure I can expect more frequent calls from my mother as to why I didn't return her call from 10 minutes ago.

Finally, the last thought that has been tormenting me lately is, why the heck are sani-wraps so ill-equipped for the toilet seats they're supposed to cover? For such a technologically-advanced country, we can't get something like a plastic cover shaped correctly? It's like a starter kit for the toilet seat that only covers the areas where your cheeks don't sit. This gross inequality came to my attention in South America where I used the best sani-wraps in my lifetime. They cover like the entire seat, with only a slim, heart-shaped opening in the center. The heart shape makes you feel all good inside and you sit down with a smile! If I ever choose another venture besides journalism, PR, or screenwriting, I'm going with toilet seat sanitation wrap designer. Those jerks at Kimberly-Clark need a real wake-up call.

Sincerely,
Kevin
The Silicon Valley Bachelor

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