My Life as a Failure

Nobody really liked the vulnerable, introspective Silicon Valley Bachelor. When I wrote this blog post, everyone left these comments as if I was going to commit suicide. One of my best friends said I was depressing. Well DEPRESS THIS MOFO'S!!!! I think I am going through a third-life crisis (I'm almost 30... or midlife crisis, if I live to 60).

So I decided to rent a place for the summer in the city, so that I wouldn't have any regrets when I'm old. For all the time I spent living in Podunk towns in the US, I decided I earned it. I'm still going to live in the Cupertino during the week, but it'll be on like Donkey Kong on the weekends.

But that's not all! It's like my life will end at 30. I also signed up for Spanish classes and Guitar classes during the week - all the things I started and never followed-through with. And two years from the time I started my screenplay, I will be finishing the first draft sometime this month.

If only I had this much fervor in life at an earlier age, I might have made something of myself. Instead, I shall fade into the sunset, acting like I have never tasted alcohol in my life, with each passing moment. It's too late for me... but you kids still have a shot in life. Use me as the benchmark for failure and chase your dreams!

Sincerely,
Kevin L.
The Sillicon Valley Bachelor


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7 comments :

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. I'm sure turning 30 must not be fun, but look on the bright side: you're much smarter, more focused, and you got a ton of experience under your belt. Renting a pad in the city just for the summer is brilliant!

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  3. Hi,
    I came across your blog and it's very interesting. You can check out another blog that relates to your topic from a Muslim brother's perspective: http://muslimquest.blogspot.com/.

    Happy reading!

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  4. I like being called 'brilliant!' Thanks anonymous, you are my best friend. No seriously. Let's go skip rocks or something this weekend.

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  5. It's my 26th birthday today and I'm feeling a similar sort of disillusionment and regret. So I typed "why is my life a series of failures" into Google and your blog was one of the top results. I have to say, after reading your post it makes me feel a little better to see that there are other people in the same boat. And, although I don't have a collection of 100 G.I. Joes, someday I hope to chalk up an achievement of tantamount esteem.

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  6. Hahah, I love that my blog comes up under searches of "failure". Ahhh.... a dream come true.

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