Either Lower Your Standards or Move to New York

I didn't go out this last Saturday for the first time in recent memory. I think I have issues. I've been doing it for so long, that I didn't know what to do with myself. I knew I wanted and needed to work on my screenplay - but instead I found myself cleaning the house and wondering what I'd be doing if I were out each moment I looked at the clock.

Like at midnight, I was like 'hmmm, this is probably where I would spill my first drink on my shirt and not notice it until the next day.' Or at 1am, I was like 'this is probably where I ask a girl the same question I asked her two minutes ago.' At 2am, I was thinking 'this is where I'd be rushing to the parking lot to beat the traffic to Jack in a Box.' At 3am, I looked at my bed and thought 'this bed just doesn't seem right without a few curly fries laying by my pillow next to a 5.' (See earlier post).

Oh well, it really doesn't matter - take a look at this chart bellow that shows we're about 100,000 single women in the hole. That's a pretty huge discrepancy - but great news for you gals....and some guys (not that there's anything wrong with that)! I found the chart on Richard Florida's (not to be confused with Flo Rida, the rapper. I think that's what the kids are listening to these days) Who's Your City site.


That just means you severely game-challenged guys in Silicon Valley are just going to have to up the stakes and sell a few more start-ups and then move your butts to New York, where there are 210,000 more single women than men!!!! Gals like Julia Allison might await you (but probably not). She's received a fair amount of scrutiny from local bloggers for coming to the Valley from New York to search for some tech love. Who cares? She's still the hottest girl who's ever attended a tech event. Why she chose the Valley, I don't know. Too bad I don't like blue dots....


Sincerely,

Kevin L.
The Silicon Valley Bachelor

P.S. The picture of Allison is from Valleywag and shows off her .... errr the men she has to choose from. Good choice Julia!

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5 comments :

  1. look at all those blue bubbles in Cali! DREAMY.

    let's swap, Kevin. you can move into my studio in Brooklyn. i'll move in with your parents.

    YESSS!!! i long for a home cooked meal. i won't leave until i am properly courted!

    sick of contributing to those inflated red bubbles,
    kayoko

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  2. and by the way, i never go out on Saturday nights- unless it's for a birthday. now i know why- too many single women, not enough single men. why bother?

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  3. Kayoko, you're crazy. Are those red dots legit? Because I am not one bit happy about it!

    I'm down with this coastal exchange program. You'll have to write SVB though and I'll take over Umamimart. Can I be friends with your friends too?

    How big is your studio? The room at my parent's house is about 200 sq. ft. There's a window too.

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  4. those red dots are ridiculously legit. no joke. nyc is the land of married men, and the single girls who pine for them. it's a gruesome habit now to look for the silver band on the ring finger on the train every morning on the way to work. it's so sad- it's the first thing i look for.

    i could totes write SVB. i think i would have better luck too, with all these blue bubbles. i wouldn't know what to do with myself. i too would prolly just run to Jack in the Crack at 2am for a chicken sandwich. in my pajamas.

    my studio has a bed AND and couch for those fun nights of making out. sadly, i just read on them.

    xxk

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  5. And she goes to the highest bidder for the evening to hopefully "qualify" for the next "date" or get disqualified during the preliminary round. Nice implants!

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